Hang in there. Love harder. Be nicer. You cannot and will not combat H's anger and hate with the same. You have to be the embodiment of love now. You are going to have to jump through hoops to prove your love. But no one said the path of true love was easy, did they?
So try in every possible way to please him, even when you're exhausted and tired. Write him small notes of apologies everyday. Be consistent in your ways.
You CAN do this. If Nelson Mandela can sit in jail for 27 years to save his countrymen, you can try to be the best W and mother for 7 months at least.
Give H space. Don't suspect him of an A. Assume the positive. It's most likely he's just sleeping over at a friend's house. Unless you have solid proof, don't make up your own reality in your head. Just because you had an A, doesn't mean that your H will too.
God will help you, but stay strong. God would want you to try harder. With truth and love, you can overcome anything! Anything! Everytime you go somewhere, TELL H where you're going or leave him a note. Do everything in your power to prove to him that you're a good person.
The guy is pissed off and angry and a part of him HATES himself for letting himself be treated like you did. I'm not saying this to make you feel bad, but just to give you an idea of what is going through his mind, alright?
I've been DBing for almost 9 months now and my guy is still skittish about trusting me again. So, change takes time and don't expect easy answers. Your H is smart for treating you the way he is. If you want to prove that you're a good person, step up to the challenge! LOVE HIM HARDER & BETTER.
Once trust is broken, it takes a long time to regain.
You haven't been here that long....you got to earn your H's love. Bit by bit. And it does get worse before it gets better. I had zero communication for 3 months with my guy. ZERO! It's hard for everyone......
Be strong and don't get into the victim mentality. It's your H that is the victim here. He's been hurt and torn apart. His world has collapsed around him literally. So SHOW HIM WHAT YOU'RE MADE OF!
And don't listen to when he says things in anger, younger and better! He said that in anger...GET IT!
Sorry to come on so strongly, but I keep seeing the victim role you play in your M and you're not the victim here. H is.
Hope this helps and I know you're a good person. Just prove it now! To yourself and your children and your H. Remember that your kids are watching EVERYTHING that is going on between H and you. Set an example of being a devoted loving W.
rainbowlove ------------------------- ALL IS HERE AND SO MUCH MORE IS COMING!
