H was late home from work - 3 and a half hours late and couldn't let me know until he was already 2 hours late by which time I was in floods of tears and a blind panic that he was sat at work deciding to leave me again.
When he did get home he was sweeter than sweet and said the nicest things like how he'd been thinking about me looking up at him and smiling all day long. And there's me thinking all I've thought about all day is her stood in my kitchen and not knowing what to believe anymore.
He said such lovely sweet things I had to do my best and not ruin it so tried really hard to put all the upset thoughts and feelings out of my head. We went out for tea and watched TV and it was all fine but then H said he wished I didn't look so down and we talked about yesterday and H got really angry and has basically said he can't take it being like this for the rest of his life. I said noone has said it will be for the rest of your life and like Jen Jam suggested I tried to say how I just needed some time to get over the major life trauma we had been through and could he help me with it and he basically said no. He said he's sick of me crying to do with her when nothing happened and he feels like it will never go out of my head and he doesn't understand why and he's not having it so I'd better sort it out quick or he's off. I said all I was asking for is a little time like he needed to sort his head out about intimacy things. It has culminated in him going to sleep because he's exhausted without us sorting it out or making up. This is just like the old days. Going to bed on an argument. I said I didn't want to live like this the rest of my life either and was not going to be threatened with him leaving me every time things aren't A OK.
My Mum apparently came round while she was here yesterday so I know exactly what she will be thinking about it. My Mum came round today and said nothing about it - I think she was waiting to see if I mentioned it or she's probably wondering how she can break it to me that a W was in my house while I was out.
This is so awful. I'm sat up typing and feeling devastated because I can't just believe him when he says nothing ever ever happened. I want to believe him its just like I'm scared to or something.
