Seven years ago before my husband and I got married he cheated on me. I went through all the emotions you are going through, I went through them again recently but my husband WILL NOT admit to anything and maybe I am stupid but I actually believe him this time the evidence was too hard the last time. (The OW and I confronted him. But our R was messed up I was a horrible person to be around at the time I was not meeting any of his needs not that its an excuse.)
At any rate seven years ago when this happened to us I was about to give up when he finally came around. I was pursuing him like crazy doing everything I was not supposed to do even though he said we would work it out I wanted it NOW, NOW, NOW. But I was like 20 years old and knew nothing about DB. Then I started going to psychics (I know, I was 20!) They were telling me to leave him alone and he will come back. Well, a friend of mine thought I should just move on so he took me to a cuandera (Mexican folk doctor) to prove to me I needed to move on. Well, he was wrong, the cuandera also told me to keep faith, but to leave my then BF alone. She had me meet her every Tues and Thurs for all the cleansing stuff and readings. At any rate ( I can't believe I am writing this) I started to get really tired of doing it. I was not supposed to call him or spy on him which I did ALL the time. SHe told me to concentrate on my kids and school and managing my money better. FInally I started to listen to her because I would come in to the appointments and she would be like "Did you go spy on him again? Didn't I tell you to stop?"
Well, I finally got to a point where I wanted to give up, I was tired of the appointments tired of wanting him. I was so tired I ignored him. I did not care I was detached and guess what? He started to come around again, spent the night with me every night of the week and eventually we moved back in together. It was at my breaking point. So maybe these feeling you have are good to get you on the road to detaching.
If I were you I would not tell him about the trip to Las Vegas. I did something similar seven years ago. Instead of going to Las Vegas I packed up with my two kids in tow and drove to L.A. I called him from California to tell him to check my apartment. He was mad. Later on he asked me why I did not invite him along. Because I was mad at him, I was through. When I got back I did not call him at all. I just ignored him.
Now in retrospect I do not think "Magic" was really involved because she said all she could do was help things to move faster, but I know the things about detaching and leaving him alone did work. Look how they work for all the people on these boards. So even though it was not a traditional method of working things out with my husband she helped me to concentrate more on me so that everything else would fall into place. Now I have DBing, so I do not need a cuandera. Even though my sitch is getting better already I really have to admit I think DBing helped a lot with it. It has made me a better person and my husband is starting to warm up to me again. The thing about going through that rough patch with him years ago is that I can sense something being off balance faster and do something before its too late.
