Getting past hurt feelings?

[Jen_Jam]

Yes - patience.
I am assuming you are both LBS's?
When my H decided he didn't want to walk off without trying it took MONTHS AND MONTHS of me DB'ing my little butt off.

Read the Divroce Remedy (again if you have already). WAS's really don't believe our changes are for real, all we can do is be consistent and patient. Forcing any issue won't achieve much usually.

This is why as well it's very important to GAL. Yes at first it looks a good way to get the interest of a WAS and it IS that but also it's an outlet for us LBS's. DB'ing can be DRAINING and we need something for US.

I remember when I'd be out and about, GAL'ing. it felt good because I wasn't around H, I didn't have to consider his feelings, I could be myself with people I liked and who liked me. it made me feel a LOT better about myself and gave me the strength to carry on DB'ing. If anything, I wish I'd done a bit more GAL.

SO in answer to the question, yes the WAS's don't believe things will stay, that the LBS will revery back to type. They don't believe real change is possible. My H used to say "people cannot change". Now he says "people don't change because they don't want to." (ie you CAN change if you want). These are verbatum words from a former WAS.

Ignore what they say when they think you cannot change - you are going to carry on changing anyway and prove them wrong!!!!