Afterall..... This IS my life IV for heatherg

[heatherg]

Ok. An update. Where to begin? So much has transpired, but to try to put it into words, well, it just doesn't seem so grand. But it is.

The best way I can think to describe our R these past few weeks is harmonic. We're doing good with co-parenting, H is helping more around the house, we're being affectionate.
We've had one fallout, a couple weeks back, because I went for a drink with several of my fellow karate students at the bar nextdoor to the dojo on a Friday night. I called to ask him if he'd mind, but he didn't answer his phone so I left him a message and then I went for one drink and got home 30 minutes later than usual. I called him on my way home to let him know I was on my way and he said he hadn't listened to my voicemail so he apparently didn't know where I was at that point. He was IRATE. Livid. So angry he wouldn't speak to me.
The next morning, I went into his room and told him I wanted activities to go on for the day as we had planned and that I was sick, sick to damn death of feeling like every fight was 'the end'. I basically told him that I can't live life in a vacuum, I will try my best to let him know where I am and what I am doing and that I understand it's hard for him and I understand why it's hard for him. But. I went for a drink, it was thirty minutes, it won't become a habit, but it will likely happen again. Now, let's get up and get ready to go.
It was like somebody flipped a switch in that boy. His attitude slowly warmed up over the course of the day and by evening, he was willing to attend the symphony with me for a work-related commitment we made. Just the night before he told me he would not be going.
Ever since then, things have been going great and I think I may have finally found the key to H's power plays. Refuse to play. I think I finally know what that means. Finally!

Nothing else very specific to report-we are not in the same bed yet, but he has said he doesn't plan to sleep in separate beds forever and he has put the wedding band issue in that same category. Kissing hasn't been addressed, I'm letting it go. My vehicle is still for sale, I'm waiting on one potential deal and if that doesn't go through, I will sit down with H and discuss whether or not he wants me to spend 10k of our money to get rid of it at a dealership. If he does, I will, no questions asked.

Oh, one last thing. I asked H if the secret pictures, videos, websites, i.e. porn are still going on. He said no. That's a huge display of respect for me. In the recent past, he would ignore me, deflect or just flat out say he wasn't going to stop. I was so happy about that, tears came to my eyes and I told him I loved him.