New to this forum

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Hi everyone, have been busy and haven't had a lot to report so have just been doing reading on occasion.

We are still working at it. We had our anniversary 17 years. We went to his companies annual banquet, and it was a casino night theme. H isn't much into that scene, but we played some blackjack and I feel like he had fun. I met all the people he works with, that was nice to have names to put with the faces. We exchanged gifts, and a couple hugs, but nothing further. I am still waiting for more intimacy, hopeful. Trying not to look like a lost puppy.

Have been feeling better about myself, am more able to get going on a few things, baby steps for sure, couple of things and then I put a few off for a bit, and then a couple more. I think the patience thing has me worn down, I am tired of being patient, yet I am not giving up, I just want to hear a little reassurance, I guess I would like some words as I think that there are plenty of signs.

H and I are going to be building a new home. We get along at this quite well, so it is a good project for us, although I am not looking forward to the hassels, I am excited and then worried just about the project at the same time. H said last night he wishes it was done already. Same thing I think, we like doing it, but just want it to go smoothly, our last build was a nightmare, and we survived that so.....

It is a good sign I think. H has been very into fitness, and I have been very supportive, bought him gifts to support that venture, not hasseling him about time he needs to do long runs or biking and such. Working on getting myself into shape as well, but not in a competitive way, just inspired by all the work he is doing.

There is a new crisis brewing in his family. His Dad is drinking again and having issues, it stressed him out the last time, tremendously, I think he is in a better place to deal with it now, he is already in counseling so he has that outlet to talk. I listen and try and be supportive, but not get in the way. It is a tough deal. I am angry because I feel like things with us have been going better and then this wrench gets thrown in, and stresses him out. I know that stress contributed to the melt down, he needed to control his life and not be taking care of everyone else, so I was the easiest to dump. I have to do an excellent job of taking care of my and my happiness, and not putting in off on him, show him that these changes are real and permanent, and that I will not backslide and stay there, especially when he is having his own issues. Will discuss that with my counselor today.