Me and my wife have been together 8 years (5 married) , we have 2 younger kids, we have been having major issues in last few months with arguing lately, and issues we both are at fault at,at one point in time she wanted to leave me for a divorce.We just moved into a new place to try to start fresh. BUT..... 3 weeks past, she has a friend that she goes out with that is married (not legally seperated, yet), she is a heavy drinker, she uses her husband to watch her kids, all the time..she has been with 4-5 different guys in last 3 monthsand doesnt care about her husband at all..
during this past 3 months my wife has become,very distant and seems like she cares only about her friends and goin out not the kids or me. A drinker, comes and goes as she pleases, has admitted to 3 affairs ( 2 sexual , 1 kissing), she goes out all nite long and sleeps all day, can't where her wedding rings out.To add to this i think shes pregnant..75% sure its mine...
During this time my wife has gotten into 2 fist fights with her friend , 1 car accident taken her friend to hospital3-4 time for anxiety attacks..
I truly love my wife even threw all this and think she may be goin threw a phase or just got to caught up in the nitelife / affairs deal, she has stated many times about seeking help (only to go back on her word), i wanna do everything i can to save my family and marriage...
Any help or advice>?
Never give up on the ones you love...It only hurts you more in the end..
it's not good what she doing. But speaking for myself, i know that i let my friends interfer in my realtionship. I would trust friends, ended up cheating while I was with these friends etc, because I was looking for something I thought i was missing. I had three small children at the time and was younger (23) I missed out on "partying". If she's anything like me, she knows where her heart is...doesn't make it right, but be patient, not judgmental, open up the communication and let her know, that you will be the one there for her when all her friends are gone. That's what my H told me and now that I'm alone, everything he said has come to light
Do you tell you're W what you have told us here. There is a certain way of doing it I hasten to add, and only you know your W.
This sounds very similar to my sitch a year ago. My H was so frightened of losing me he wouldn't say how he felt or stop me doing anything. Needless to say I walked all over him, not because I wanted to, because I thought he didn't care and never thought to ask. I know now that he did care and now he doesn't want me. I do look back though and think if he'd tried to stop me would I still have done the same things because I was blaming him. In my sitch, which I can't say would work for you, if H had admitted some of his downfalls before he said he wasn't happy about something I was doing I probably would have listened.
If you want more info on my sitch it's 'Will he ever change his mind'.
Hope it helps a bit just knowing there are people around who will at least try to understand and help.
Yes , I have treid to talk to her about this , and she more or less throws it in my face , and blames me for it.
I can say this isn't her, she has changed alot in last few months, but i think shes all caught up in this ( goin out and havin fun thing.. One thing i forgot to mention about her goin out is , we had her first kid when she was 23 and secend 3 years later...So part of me wants to think this is all her tryin to make up for lost fun (though i totally disagree with how shes doin it)
thx for advice...it helps alot
Never give up on the ones you love...It only hurts you more in the end..
Next time she hasn't made plans with the girls. Get a babysitter and even if it isn't your thing take her out dancing or whatever it is she does with the girls, get another couple on board if you can and enjoy yourselves. It might not work for you but that was all I wanted from my H. I didn't really want to be out with the girls. Iwanted to be out doing what I did with the girls with my H. The thing is whilst the H is at home waiting for you, you go out but you've got the knowledge that you've got someone. So you can flirt, have a laugh and nothing more because you don't need to. You then go home and take it out on the person that is your emotional crutch. You can either take that crutch away - it doesn't sound like you want to. Or you can be the party that she's going to with the girls.
I'm speaking from my sitch, but it's got to be worth a try?
