HD, That teenage son being a turd goes with age. My DS17, is also there. He hides in his room when he is here, isn't civil to anyone in the house, and can't hold any convo with me without it turning into an argument. I feel your pain.
Just wanted to know if you saw my post yesterday on the step-kids issue? If it wasn't useful to your sitch, no problem. I just wondered if it got lost in the shuffle.
Fearless, whose project is currently un-motivating to say the least...
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
Did I mention what a turd my son's been? Oh well, chalk it up to senior year teenager angst. And yes, I've called him on it.
Hey, consider yourself lucky. I'm walking by the staircase up to my S18s little proto-man den the other day when I smell something not unlike a combination of incense and newly mown lawn wafting down from above. His response to my "I do not want you partying in the house. Do you understand?" was to say "That is so lame saying "partying". Nobody says that anymore.". Which of course distracted me into saying "What do they say?" thereby greatly undermining my authority on the issue. (FYI: They say "baking".) I did try to follow up by saying something along the lines of not being a bad influence on his sister but she heard me saying this and said "He's not any sort of influence (with a tone of derision)on me besides everyone in this town is stoned all the time because it's so boring here. I'm just not that stupid.". So now my tough-love solution is that I told him I'm not buying him any food any more (I know he's almost broke himself because he's been ordering pizza every night and bribing his sister to bake him cookies. Gee, I wonder why?)so he better get a part time job pronto which will hopefully take up much of his spare time which he is currently spending getting "baked" and listening to music.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Do you ever make a point to acknowledge how hard it is to deal with someone else's kid, particularly a teenager and how much you appreciate it?
Yes, as a matter of fact I did this morning on this very issue. And yes, I do call him on his issues in W's presence.
It's so sad that he sees her as some sort of enemy. Generally, she's the one who would get me to temper my discipline of him when I wanted to ground him for months, or she would come up with great birthday present ideas for him, etc. He is under his mother's influence enough that she's got him convinced that his stepmom is evil.
I'm beginning to think that tuition is actually some type of ransom we pay to colleges to keep the kids away from home.
Fearless - no, your post didn't get lost in the shuffle. It's being considered, along with all the other great advice I've been getting lately. I think tackling it as a joint problem is a great idea.
Speaking of joint problems, Mojo, just be aware that your son's activities in your house could potentially put your liberty and property at risk. They just took an 86 year old grandma's house away up in my neck of the woods because her grandson was partying baking in it, and had enough around for the law to consider him involved in trafficking.
Didn't it seem a lot simpler and easier back when we were stoners?
Fearless - no, your post didn't get lost in the shuffle. It's being considered, along with all the other great advice I've been getting lately. I think tackling it as a joint problem is a great idea.
Speaking of joint problems, Mojo, just be aware that your son's activities in your house could potentially put your liberty and property at risk. They just took an 86 year old grandma's house away up in my neck of the woods because her grandson was partying baking in it, and had enough around for the law to consider him involved in trafficking.
Didn't it seem a lot simpler and easier back when we were stoners?
Hairdog
Yes, indeed, although I'm too young to remember a time when drugs weren't a Threat to Our Society that must be stamped out by any means necessary.
I sometimes wonder what pleasures we enjoy that the powers-that-be will eventually deny to our kids.
Speaking of kids, MJ, your S18 isn't one anymore. Why is he still living with you? Especially with his activities exposing you to eventual legal trouble, I think it's high time you turned him loose.
Last edited by Crazy Eddie; 03/27/0706:47 PM.
a fine and enviable madness, this delusion that all questions have answers, and nothing is beyond the reach of a strong left arm.
Quote: -------------------------------------------- They just took an 86 year old grandma's house away up in my neck of the woods because her grandson was partying baking in it, and had enough around for the law to consider him involved in trafficking. --------------------------------------------
I wonder when they will "take" a university dorm due to activities within. Lots of them are private property.
I wonder how much longer it will be before some of the "drug war" laws are struck down as unconstitutional.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Finally, I wanted to mention that my wife indicated that one thing she is doing to "make herself more willing" is reading "Sacred Pleasure."
Just looking at it on Amazon...doesn't seem too promising. Tell her maybe you'll read Sacred Pleasure and Mating in Captivity if she'd like to discuss the differences and commonalities in both books with you.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
bake? No matter what it's called it is using drugs, most likely weed with all the eating going on.
My 7 years of working in the group-home prompts me to give out advice.
If using drugs is OK with you, you think it is harmless, think again.
Get some home UA kits and get a pee sample first thing in the morning. “First thing in the morning samples” wil quickly tell what is going on and are less prone to outside influences. Signs of trying to invalidate the test results by your s are; drinking lots of water, taking nutritional supplements, using bleach to throw the results off. http://onpointhealth.smartsontap.com/health/drug-testing.html
Bored and nothing to do is the first sign of trouble. Not enough creativity on his or your part. Lots of kids find things to do w/o resorting to drugs.
Aside from the legal problems, one drug can lead to other drug usage. Once drug usage goes beyond a certain point, lots of times people support their habit by selling or stealing.
If your s wants cookies, he needs to make his own. It gives him something to do. Your d making cookies for him, that is enabling behavior.
Speaking of kids, MJ, your S18 isn't one anymore. Why is he still living with you? Especially with his activities exposing you to eventual legal trouble, I think it's high time you turned him loose.
Well, you know one of the three characteristics I think a man should have is initiative. My son wants to be a writer. He understood the concept or irony when he was 6 and,unlike his mother, he is an expert in grammar and linguistics (he edited the article on the topic of language in Wikipedia and his revisions stuck) and he just read the complete works of Faulkner and Dostoevsky. So his current life plan is to save up enough money to go off across the country Kerouac style in search of "experience" in his beat up old station wagon. Theoretically, I am just housing him until he is ready to leave. So I am quite annoyed that he is sapping his initiative with his current habit. OTOH, there is a strain of ADD that runs in my family that responds well to pot. My youngest sister got a 4.0 in college and graduated from one of the toughest law schools in the country and was pretty much continuously stoned while studying. Also, I was good friends in college with the son of the one of the scientists who discovered the opiate receptor part of the brain. The two of them were total stoners. He was constantly trying to breed a better strain. Proof-positive that I am not much of a stoner is that I could have had all of the very highest quality weed available in the entire country for free all the time and I rarely took advantage of his offers to try out his latest and greatest. Though I must admit that I did indirectly benefit since he was sleeping with my housemate and kept buying us stuff like more plush towels and gourmet take-out.
Plus, I'm wondering what happens if the law confiscates your house which currently has negative equity due to the terrible state of the housing market in my locale? Maybe I should plant some in my front lawn. I might come out ahead.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
