Most people pretty easily recognize their FOO stuff when they see it.
While that is true, I think people are also good about seeing it but not really "SEEING" how it specifically affects a particular issue. That's why starting with the CBT is good to get things moving and then can do specific analysis about family issues as they come up in relation to your core belief issue.
The thing is that I have changed every which way during this R and still remain sex starved.
Long story short, that's how I felt in my marriage except the more accurate description was love-starved. My issue was getting XH to understand that quality time was extremely important to me and that without it I struggled with how to know he loved me. (I did not know about LL but that is what I think is the similarity to me with the SSM people. Sex always seems bigger and more important but in the end it really is about having your LL met.)
I have to say though that my XH NEVER gave me that openness and feeling of vulnerability that your H just gave you.
By the way H is a management consultant who specializes in "leadership and communication".
That is a field that greatly interests me. I interact career wise very differently than I do in relationships. To me, they are different in that things are only as personal as you let them be in business while a relationship is ALL personal. Anyway... my point is that he could be an excellent consultant for management and still be lousy at communicating with you personally. That might be a key for you so make sure he understands you are not insulting or demeaning his ability in his profession when you talk about your communication issues.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
