Thanks. Actually, I am a mental health professional by trade and H is a management consultant who specializes in "leadership and communication". So, we are pretty much experts in respectful communication. We are also experts in deflection by communication.
I am very familiar with CBT and also brief therapy and see it as much more effective with most things. It is at least important to get some therapuetic movement before worrying about where it all came from and why. Most people pretty easily recognize their FOO stuff when they see it. I'm glad you've found it useful. Sure beats endless discussion about Mom and Dad.
The thing is that I have changed every which way during this R and still remain sex starved. My exits are usually in response to H's. He usually executes the pre-emptive strike and then I avoid confronting it because I fear anger, confrontation and whatever may be the "last straw". I guess what is different about this communication is that I didn't shy away from basically saying to him "You act like a guy on your way out and that scares me" and I know what you are doing to avoid. I've never been quite so blunt about it before. I hope we get somewhere with it because my 36 1/2 week pregnant @ss can't take much more isolation.
