Wow! I love the way he has risked a lot to open up to you and I think your response was good!
By the way your comments about closing the exits reminds me of Frank Pittman's comment about marriage being like a submarine - they only work if you are COMPLETELY IN.
You validated his feelings without telling him to change them. You just asked that the two of could look to each other for help.
You do realize that this does entail some work for you too, right? I thought you owned up to your issues well and I think you'll have to be the one who shows the most initial change and stays most consistent on not avoiding with work, reading and the internet. Not that it is fair but that is probably the best way to get your H on-board.
If you have a chance look at the info on the website about cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). I posted in under the title of "tangent from hairdog - cognitive behavior therapy." This is to your comment about leaving the FOO issues alone. I know when my therapist spoke to me about CBT we first looked at the issue in my current life and figured out the core belief I needed to being challenging with my automatic thoughts and intermediate beliefs. We did not even talk about possible FOO issues until after the initial CBT was started.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
