Thank you for the responses, suggestions, & encouragement! It helps so much just knowing there are people who truly care! No one in my circle of family and friends have ever been through something this before so it is hard for them to relate to what this feels like for me so it is so helpful to hear from people who have been or are going through it! Now to answer some questions...
Tell me...why did you move out? Why couldn't he move out? Looks like he got exactly what he wanted.
This is a good question...Honestly, at the time I thought me moving out would be the best thing to help us. I guess my thought proccess was H needed to be in our house alone with out me to see what he would be missing. Looking back I now realize that was not the smartest thing to do and I should have not been so agreeable to moving out ~ you can probably guess it was H idea that I be the one to move. He used the excuse of finacial reason, he makes a lot more money then I do and said I would never be able to afford the house on my own. This is true but I am sure we could have worked something out if I stayed.
You are 100% right he did get everything that he wanted...the house, the dog, freedom...everything! So frustrating and I don't know what I was thinking, actually I was not thinking. At the time this was going on I think I was in such denial that this was really happening and was so desperate to save the marriage that I would have done anything. It sucks but hindsight is always 20/20 ! This all occured pre-DBing days. Wish I had found the books and this site a lot sooner then I did. I think some of the decisions I made would have been different...
As you were describing the situation: I didn't believe he would keep the date nights nor would he go into counseling with an open mind.
Looking back I see this now. At the time I wanted to believe so badly he was really in this to work it out that I took everything he said to heart and felt he truly meant it. Obvioulsy he didn't mean it and that has left me with a lot of anger and other issues but I am trying to work those out in IC.
As far as GAL I have been going to the gym (not really new for me but it helps!) spending a lot of time with my friends, I am looking into a ladies social club in my area to meet new people (this is something that is completly different for me), and I am looking into taking a cooking class. Also, it is funny you wrote knitting because I just bought a how to book on this. So that may be my new hobby :)!
! This all occured pre-DBing days. Wish I had found the books and this site a lot sooner then I did. I think some of the decisions I made would have been different...