I kind of see your point, cobra, but for my statement to be analogous to your W's statement about her purse, I would have to have said, "Who left the window open while the a/c was on?" And since we're the only two humans here...
Also I didn't say, "Why did YOU leave the window open when the a/c was on?" To me THAT would be accusatory.
As for "I'm trying to keep the bills down, etc." He would see right through that as groveling, manipulative, and a pre-emptive explanation in anticipation of him snapping at me. He HATES the unnecessary explanation.
I think the way I said it was best: a simple request. He always tells me he just wants me to say things simply and not second-guess him.
He just needs to react however he wants to and eventually he may get over himself.
