Tabd and Jack, Thank you again for your replies! It is nice to get some feedback on occasion!
Jack: You say if it creeps him out don't, but everything I do that is nice and kind to him creeps him out. Because truthfully I think he likes it, it just makes him uncomfortable knowing that he has been such a jerk to me that I still am able to give to him and be kind to him out of the goodness of my heart. He has never had that.
And his family really doesn't celebrate the "minor" holidays, easter, valentines day and halloween. My mom has always sent me gifts and my XH gifts for those holidays. It is just what we do. And it made me sad to know that my XH hadn't gotten an easter basket for years until he and I started seeing each other.
I used to go all out with candy and gifts, now I just make him a basket of hard boiled eggs when he loves, and I dye them fun colors. I truly don't think he would appreciate it right now.
But I guess part of me wonders if I don't do anything (because I always have in the past) will he think I don't care about him any more? Will he think I forgot? And I don't want to do that. It is simply just letting him know that I was thinking about him and hope that he has a nice time with his family.
He text messaged me for thanksgiving, christmas and new years. (Valentines day, with the love oveture was ignored though.) I guess I will just cross my fingers and pray that he goes first.
TabD: As for his XH easter plans, I assume they will be like last year and years before. He will have a late lunch at his mom's house then go over the the 57 year old's place for dinner and the rest of the evening.
I will have my family here for the weekend, but what really bothers me is that they leave by 1:00. So when dinner times comes around I am alone. There is not special easter meal. Last year I had chips and cheese with my cats and dog.
But I guess that is what you get when you live in a city that you don't have family in. And no one thinks to invite me over for dinner b/c they "assume" b/c my family is up for the weekend that they will stay for a easter meal, and they just don't they leave so my father can work in the yard at home. I mentioned to my mom that it bothered me, but it really didn't sink in. She didn't get it, last year they stayed till 2 or 3, but the year before they left at 10 am.
It makes me sad and I cry b/c I am alone, but there really is nothing I can do. I won't force myself on my friends. I tell them honestly my plans and I figure if they want to extend and invite they will. They just never do. (Kind of the same deal for my birthday).
Jack: Thanks for the reassurance about the possibility of OW. I tend to agree. That isn't to say there won't be one nighters, or some that last a couple of weeks. But I am the ONLY one who has lasted for years. Sigh... at some point in time he will realize what he gave up. Part of what makes me sad is when he came back in May of 2005. He said my family made him on edge b/c he was "always waiting for them to decide that I am not good enough for you." I nicely informed him, "That isn't their decision. I am the only one who gets to decide who is 'good enough' for me. I am think you are more than good enough. I thinik you are perfect!"
I think at his core he just doesn't think he is worthy of receiving love. Everyone associates with him for a reason. His family is there b/c they are his family. His friends all use him in one way or another. And whether or not he wants to admit it or not, this 57 year old woman is using him to fill a void in her life. I think I have possibly been the only person who stuck around for no other reason than I love him. I love him from the top of his balding head to the "hooves" on his feet. I love him on his good days and lovingly tolerate him on his bad days. He pushes me away and I always drift back. I just love him so much. And right now I just don't know what to do with it. He doesn't want to see/feel my love right now... and I am not about to try to give it to someone else.
There is not special easter meal. Last year I had chips and cheese with my cats and dog. 
