I don't know, I think I am taking this to the nth degree. I guess I am because these boundary issues keep coming into play for me, and I am learning a lot about myself.
I have a hard time believing that you have boundary issues coming into play. What it sounds like to me is that you are having to relearn your emotions and your responses. Being with a healthy, functional man is a whole new ball of wax. You’ve never been with someone like this before and you don’t know exactly how to respond to each new situation.
In a way, I see you as being very lucky. Essentially, you have the chance to relive your youth, and re-experience that gamut of emotions that we all went through as teenagers. At least that’s how you sounds to me, like one of my daughters, trying to find herself in this new world of relationships. Lucky bastardette!
I don’t even want to think of all that Mojo is reliving!
Corri, I'm with you 100% on this. I'd much rather MrsGGB tell me they guy over there looks scrumptious than to keep it to herself, and I don't want to feel like I've got to guard my thoughts. This keeping stuff like that to yourself is a lack of intimate communication that seems to be the mark of a marriage that is suffering. Now, how to get that openness is another story, but if I could get there I'd take it in a heartbeat over keeping the subject to things like who did what to whom. I am convinced that intimate communication like that, done in a loving way, is a key ingredient to a perfect marriage.
Oh, no, I am having very serious boundary issues coming into play. Boundaries don't have to be 'big.' And I'm not even unsure of what my boundaries ARE... the tough thing to know is when they are coming into play... and what you DO about it. THAT is a definite toughie.
I'm glad it is happening. I want to get really, really good at boundary stuff.
Quote:
What it sounds like to me is that you are having to relearn your emotions and your responses. Being with a healthy, functional man is a whole new ball of wax. You’ve never been with someone like this before and you don’t know exactly how to respond to each new situation.
Yep. I wouldn't necessarily call him healthy and functional -- LOL!!! We all have our issues, and FOO, etc. But I've never been with anyone like him before, and I am SOOOO adrift in new territory.
I really think it is much easier to understand 'male' boundaries, and to examine how women 'test' them... probably because we've talked about it so much here. But in all honesty, I don't know a lot of women who have many boundaries, much less how they get tested by men. But they do.
The clearest one I can think of was with GEL and how she dealt with her H.
Uhm... I believe Karen (I think it was Karen, maybe it was NJ) talked about her parents... and when her dad would hit a 'mood,' her mother would take it until about day three, and then they'd 'go for a walk.'
Blackfoot tested his w's boundaries... and found them lacking.
A lot of women are pretty clear with boundaries when it comes to their kids... some are not. But by and large, I don't know that women put a lot of time and effort into thinking about them. I know I sure didn't.
But now that I have been divorced, I am dating, and I am considering who I am willing to let into my life and my kids' lives, you can bet your bippy I'm giving them very serious thought.
Seriously... tell me one of your wife's boundaries?
Wow... what a rollercoaster ride! I just got here.
Hairdog, I just want to go on record: Your abs are really ripped! I worship your abs. I've never seen them and I'm sure I never will, but when I see a picture of a guy's abs or a real guy with real abs, it just reminds me of how much I worship yours. I worship at the church/synagogue of Hairdog's Abs. Truly. Every Friday night I light candles to them. And on Sunday morning, too, just to cover all bases.
But seriously, you're doing great! I agree totally with your response to Mrs. HD. Clearly you gave her something to think about. Go with your gut impulse and just be you!
______ ETA
Re the Hitachi Magic Wand: I got one for a wedding present at my girls-only shower when I married my late H. My friends had the house decorated with Playgirl cutouts, including a big on in the middle of my cake. They even had a naked man on the wreath on the front door. We had our reception at the home of a gay couple, so I just passed the decorations on to them.
This massager is WAY to powerful to use for "intimate satisfaction." Hmmmm... you could break concrete with this thing. It will give you something that sort of almost approximates an O in about two minutes flat, but it's not a deep, satisfying, down-to-the-soles-of-your-feet O-- it's just way too fast and shallow. For the O that lasts over a minute, you have to take your time and use a very gentle touch-- sneak up on it... but it's worth it.
It's great for using on the bottoms of your feet when you've been standing or walking all day.
That's a mighty big elephant parked in your bedroom and it's going to take more than one shot to get 'em.
Once it's dead, then you have to figure out how to get rid of it. That's a lot of work and far yet to go.
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
Hey, Nopkins! I'm impressed (either with you, or with the power of narcotics, I'm not sure which). Thanks for the validation. You know how to get rid of an elephant, don't you? You eat it. Know how you eat it? One bite at a time.
Gee, thanks, Lil for the homily about my abs. You'd be surprised at how similar your worship of them is like the faith of a believer: there may be no concrete evidence they exist, but you just know they are there, somewhere. Keep lighting those candles, baby (I got shares in the paraffin supplier).
Nothing new to report. Just wanted to pop in and see who had been here.
Gee, thanks, Lil for the homily about my abs. You'd be surprised at how similar your worship of them is like the faith of a believer: there may be no concrete evidence they exist, but you just know they are there, somewhere.
