chicki, lol, i am a mr not a missy. I use miss-my-friend. Common mistake. Sorry for my mistake. However if physical abuse exists, I still would be very concerned. '
As far as detaching, I would ask Happy. I am not exactly detaching completely. I am giving her all the space she wants while having a life of my own. I will be there when she needs me because I want her to know she has a place with us.
Me:56, W:51 D:26,S:24,S:22 Married:18 Bomb 9/27/06 Separated 11/27/06 Divorced 10/6/08 Leaving it up to God
My H took our girls to go see his OW mom!! And after they went to a kids Bday party. He said no to meeting me out of town, but he can go see OW's mom (future mothernlaw?) who is also out of town!! H told the kids not to say anything, but they did. Come on, does he really think they wouldn't say anthing? Is this just another way of hurting me? Should I let him know I know? I know nothing will become of it but another argument, so I guess why go there? I bet h could'nt wait till I left town for business!! Which i never actually do. This hurts so much and i want to comfront.
Question how does one detach AND act as if when h still lives at home?????
chicki please go and check my sitch, I am at the 2 years mark almost. xh married ow, our son doesn't want to be with her at all, xh as more or less forced son to be with her over this time, she hasn't seen my son since september last, he didn't go to the wedding, his dad as taken him on a long weekend away this last weekend and guess what they have had a fallout, son tm'd me and told me dad wants to see more of me but I GOT to see her. Why won't xh accept the kid doesn't want to see her, and if it is a choice for him to see his son or be with new wife then he as already made his choice by marrying her. No before anyone says anything about this being me, no it is not it is purely and genuinely son that doesn't want to, he is nearly 13 years old and he says she stole my dad and my childhood I have to do without so why should I see her and make her happy, she took dad and she aint taking me. So after nearly 2 years he is still trying to manipulate son into his little fantasy world, only god knows when he will stop it.
i have a question for all you veterans... How am I suppose to "act as if" and not feel like a doormat? I was just emailing my H and i let him know that i know about his weekend activity w/ OW mom visit (he told the girls not to say anything). He got upset and told me not to worry b/c when he will have them on the weekends(implying D) which by the way H has not mentioned D it a lng time, that he can do whatever on his weekends. I told him fine but now not to use the girls for his dirty work. I told he couldn't meet me out of town like i suggested,but she calls and he jumps to see her (w/our kids) also out of town!
I am tired of him thinking i don't have a clue. How long or how does one act as if? Do others just turn their head the other way and act like you don't cluless? I am having a hard time w/ this.
YEAH! When h arrived home w/ the girls (late) the night i returned from out of town, the girls were really excited from going to a bday party and swimming, etc. I looked into my 7yr old's eyed and asked if you know who was there and she quickly looked away and said no. I knew instantly that he had put her up to it! I know the nerve teaching them to lie!! Later i told her that it was ok to tell mommy the truth. I can't beleive H actually thought they would cover up for him!! Hello the kids he took are only 7 and 5 year olds!! I am so burning up....i need to calm down
Do not put your kids in the middle. I know your h is doing it. I did the same. I would get angry after I asked and found ow was there and my poor girls did not know what to think. They want to please their dad and sadly they like ow. It just confuses them. Do what I do now. Just assume she is there and do not ask them.
The more you tell your h not do something the more he will.
This is the sad reality. I know it sucks. But we have to be the bigger person.
VETERANS? Where r you all? Please someone answer me.. I have told myself that i will not call the OW for a second time b/c she will only lie,but i want to tell her how this is only temporary and how she is only a play thing and that our home life is actually much calmer now and H does not talk about D anymore and how we are still ML!!!!!!
Please someone stop me from calling..i know i shouldn't right?
