Oh, no, I am having very serious boundary issues coming into play. Boundaries don't have to be 'big.' And I'm not even unsure of what my boundaries ARE... the tough thing to know is when they are coming into play... and what you DO about it. THAT is a definite toughie.
I'm glad it is happening. I want to get really, really good at boundary stuff.
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What it sounds like to me is that you are having to relearn your emotions and your responses. Being with a healthy, functional man is a whole new ball of wax. You’ve never been with someone like this before and you don’t know exactly how to respond to each new situation.
Yep. I wouldn't necessarily call him healthy and functional -- LOL!!! We all have our issues, and FOO, etc. But I've never been with anyone like him before, and I am SOOOO adrift in new territory.
I really think it is much easier to understand 'male' boundaries, and to examine how women 'test' them... probably because we've talked about it so much here. But in all honesty, I don't know a lot of women who have many boundaries, much less how they get tested by men. But they do.
The clearest one I can think of was with GEL and how she dealt with her H.
Uhm... I believe Karen (I think it was Karen, maybe it was NJ) talked about her parents... and when her dad would hit a 'mood,' her mother would take it until about day three, and then they'd 'go for a walk.'
Blackfoot tested his w's boundaries... and found them lacking.
A lot of women are pretty clear with boundaries when it comes to their kids... some are not. But by and large, I don't know that women put a lot of time and effort into thinking about them. I know I sure didn't.
But now that I have been divorced, I am dating, and I am considering who I am willing to let into my life and my kids' lives, you can bet your bippy I'm giving them very serious thought.
Seriously... tell me one of your wife's boundaries?
