My insecurity was MY problem. It is NOT his job to make ME feel better by NOT being Who He Is.
Agreed, but then he may not have known how you would take his comment, and if he had known, he might have rephrased it, or maybe not said it at all. That would be out of compassion for you. Which would you prefer? (The discussion over this could go on for days.)
Once the cat was out of the bag, then I agree that boundaries need to come into play and each person needs to deal with his/her own hurt feelings. But if you can become more empathic and knowledgeable of each other, each may be able to avoid hurting feelings in the first place.
He can say, "wow, I'm so sorry you feel that way, I'm sorry you are feeling hurt," but to change his behavior to PLACATE my insecurity and jealousy is begging for trouble.
Yep, that just loops right back into a form of enmeshment, doesn’t it? Where does the circle stop?
I don't think people should necessarily go out of their way to try and make somone feel bad, or to poke at their insecurities. I think that is rude and disrespectful.
Yes…. A little common sense on the part of BOTH people.
