New To Piecing III

[25yearsmlc]

Dear COG,

sorry you're in this sitch, but your PMA is so good I have only sympathy and not pity for you. Know what I mean?

I read your post under the "Divorce Busted" section I think. SO, I don't know the in betweens. Or the physical side of things when the M was good in her eyes. I mean no offense when I ask this, but, does your W think the SL was ever good? If so, maybe she does have some physiological parts to this if it has no apparent cause. You seemed to imply, that your w feels (like most of us women) that emotional/romantic/physical intimacy are all entwined. So, if she sees that you are a good man who loves her, what's up? I mean Is your wife able to articulate at all, what is no longer there for her to "feel it again"? Does she believe love is at least partly, a choice?


Wish I could advise, but don't have enough specifics. Maybe you have other posts around. Also, despite my being a groovy enlightened feminist and all, the fact is we females (maybe guys too?) DO have some life changes and there are days I am cognitively aware that I must be having a hormonal shift b/c some emotion will flare up without apparent cause--so I try to ride out the moment by emotionally standing in the doorframe, waiting for the storm to pass over. I have had at least 2 friends say they went through "crazy sexless/No libido" times they cannot explain now, except to say "hormones..."??? One of them had it last a couple YEARS before getting on meds (I think estrogen, but could have been ADs) and feeling better. The other I think had issues with her husband's weight, or her own, or whatever. Both got past the issues, or through them.

Any warning signs that lead from being a Div Busted to a 2nd go round at the craziness wheel? Children's ages? Like I said, I just don't have any advice at this point without enough info, and sometimes I don't know what to say to a good man trying hard to be loving and kind, in your sitch anyway. Sorry.
keep on keeping on-
j-