New To Piecing III

[COG]

I read your posts, when did you start 'pursuing for sex?'
I thought the 'plan' was to flirt, tease and be 'unavailable'?

Well, I crossed the line a time or two, that was enough for her to become uncomfortable. I tend to push for the boundary lines, and then just take one more step over the line. I'm also alot better at scurrying back across the line before getting my ass shot off.

Bottom line, I'm not good at playing emotional games, never have been. She can take me or leave me just like I am. What I have learned though is that I need to show more of who I really am, so she can make a wiser choice. The energetic, funny, fearless, guy is starting to come back out of his shell. That's something that I control.

That's part of the reason I don't blame my W for loosing her feelings for me. Because the romantic, fun loving, charasmatic guy that she M, was not the same guy she ended up M to. What she ended up with was a half hearted, selfish, controlling, judgemental, dork.

Now my challenge is to bring the first guy back to the surface where he belongs. That's in MY control, but I have'nt been able to complete the transformation yet. My guess is that when I finally get that part right, she'll be standing there with open arms. Right now she's not settling for less, and I really can not blame her.

I wouldn't sweat the 'lack of sexual attraction' she claims.

I don't, I'm enjoying life too much right now to worry about it. Besides, she's gonna melt some day Frank, we both know that. But I've got more work to do on ME first.

In the end, you can say "I was mean, etc," and she can say "You owe me..." however there is nothing written anywhere that says you are supposed to remain in a marriage without intimacy forever.

Forever is a very long time, I prefer to stay in the moment, one day at a time. I'll have NO DOUBT when and if it's time to end this M and move on. Until then, I'm in this 100%, leaving nothing on the table, giving all, and risking all.

He's stuck in his life of quiet desperation wishing he had a normal relationship.

"quiet desparation"? That does'nt even come close to describing me or MY life. Here's some words that better describe my life: faithful, determined, dangerous, creative, courageous, unselfish, thorough, exciting, fun, joyful, thankful, and fulfilled. In control of another's body and or mind, NO! But that's not my goal in life.

Stick with the flirting, and get some 'special' movies. One of which I reccomend is 'Don Juan Demarco' (Johnny Depp) which is romantic and funny at the same time. Very 'stimulating' say some women.

That's romantic pursuit. Nope, I'm not going there for now. Some women may find it stimulating, probably the ones without men, those wanting new men, or those fantasizing about the man they wished they had. Movies portray the fairytale, we need to live the reality.

And I wonder if she is physically in need of some help. Perhaps hormone levels or other issues?

That's a possibility, but if it is, she'll fix that on her own. She's a grown woman and has her own mind about things, and she's got a doctor also. I gave up trying to fix her a long time ago and life just kept getting better and better ever since. I'm not about to go back down that cheeseless tunnel.

Thanks for the input Frank.

God Bless,

COG