This is my EXACT point of leaving the objectification/appreciation topic alone. It is a diversion from the main goal - HD's integrity and self-esteem and secondary goal of ML to MsHD.
That said, I am going to comment on this statement from Corri:
But the scenario you are describing puts honesty and respect squarely at odds. Which wins?
Are you saying that we HAVE to tell our SOs about every single thought that crosses our mind in order to be honest? I do not think so but I want to make sure.
If Heather doesn't say "Man that Leo is HOT!", what has been lost in her marriage? What if she looks at her husband and thinks to herself "He looks kind of out-of-shape and unappealing today" - is she dishonest if she does not say that aloud?
I felt she was saying that SHE did not want to say anything about Leo out of respect for her H. Not because she was trying to read his mind OR because he demanded it of her but because she felt it was respectful.
To me the dishonesty would be more of a question if her H asked directly if she thought Leo was Hot and she pretended she hadn't noticed him at all. The same for HD. he did not have to comment about wanting to see the woman's cleavage. If msHD had asked, and expected him to lie then that is a bigger issue to me. That is closer to the issue of honesty and respect at odds.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
