I would agree with what you said "if" this were the beginning of the process for HD. Sad fact is...he's been dealing with this for a LONG time now and continually working on it. It's time now to take a firmer stance...in order to get her to take him seriously that HIS needs need to be addressed by her.
His W often uses opportunitites to make his needs appear as "objectifying women"....and well, he's had a tough time getting the courage to stand his ground (no offense HD). She does pull the "feminism" card very often in order to try to shut him down....so, this really was a great opportunity for him to take in order to show her that she's expecting him to do something she's not willing to do. She wants him to accept her as she is, but she's not willing to do the same for him.
One of the larger hurdles I had to get past with my H was to get him out of his constantly defensive stance, Mrs. HD does this too (gets defensive that's part of her throwing out the "feminist" card). I'm someone who can agree to disagree....my H in the past wouldn't. He'd fight tooth and nail to make his point and change my opinion to match his....that is what Mrs. HD is trying to do IMPO. If she can get him to agree that he's "objectifying women" then she doesn't have to step up. She wants him to view things the same way...then she gets her way, but he doesn't get his.
In order to get past issues you don't have to tackle them directly. Their confrontation didn't have to be about sex between them directly...this was an indirect approach at a crucial issue. This little interlude helped HD condition himself to stand his ground though, and that is important in this process.
