I'll probably get this wrong and someone will correct me, but I think where you are is step three in the grieveing process. I thought somewhere I read that is goes somthing like, 1) shock or disbeleif, 2) extreme sadness, 3) ANGER, and 4) reconciliation or acceptance.
I was listening to something recently that said as humans sometimes we don't follow our grief all the way down. We sometimes skip a step or jump right to acceptance. Problem with that is we don't get to "feel" what we need to feel to completely cleanse ourselves. AND, I agree with what the speaker was describing is that we don't learn anything from it. Strength can be, strike that, IS gained in learning and knowledge. Like Althea says (thanks Althea!!!), knowledge is power - focus here on the future and how great your life WILL be (and don't give me any of the malarky about how it won't blah, blah - you know better Nic!). I'll REMIND you I live my life VERY differently TODAY than I did almost 2 years ago as the bomb was approaching. Why, because I RODE the grief ALL the way down and have learned something from it.
So I'm proppin' you up Nic....hang in there....
Sven
Oh, BTW, link to my latest thread (actually, its old, but still alive!) should be below (Trying to Piece).
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
