I think it's time you arranged for your wife to stay with the kids two nights a week to give you time for you to live your life.
Then when you come home smiling from ear-to-ear, jazzed about your latest salsa/karate/pilates class, etc. she'll say, "great". Then...she'll get to go home and brood.
Rally your friends/family around you. If your wife won't watch them so you can have a life, friends and family should.
