mrs. h- Hi! i was so glad to see you posted!!!! i have been to hell & back these past few weeks. my h told me just a couple of days before my mom died that he was not coming home because he could not trust me...just before he told me in Jan. that he was coming home, i had started talking to a man & had formed a very strong friendship- the man & i had never seen each other & were going to meet (w/ a chaperone). well, i was honest w/ h about the relationship from the beginning. at first, he was o'k then he became angry. well, the day of mama's funeral, he told D13 to tell me i looked very pretty that day-he also told me the same. things started moving in a positive direction for a reconciliation. h started coming around, bringing supper, etc....we were getting along really well. on V-Day, h called & wished me a Happy V-day. we talked, he told me about a possible new job which would put him home on the weekends, i wished him luck-he said it was for "us". that night he told me he loved me. we spent all day thurs. together-grreat time. that evening, after he left, i got an anonymous phone call that h is living w/ another woman-his plant manager. at first he denied it; then, admitted it. said he was unhappy & had been wanting to come home. i agree to let him....we both take the next day off work. spend the night talking & trying to work things out. the next morning, h decides he does not want me to go w/ him to get his things-says he doesn't want a confrontation. he puts my wedding ring back on. he makes all kinds of promises....says all the right things....then because i referred to his mistress as a bitch, he gets mad & leaves. tells me later that he's not coming back, that he doesn't love me like he should and that he loves her. he chose her over me & our kids (she left her h & i guess her 2 small children for my h). from what i can tell, she has been paying all "their" bills, rent utilities, etc. now, she has supposedly lost her job-maybe because of their relationship & my h is probably going to lose his too. i did a stupid thing this morning & called him and told him i loved him and i'm sorry (i kinda showed myself a little yesterday afternoon when he came to get his things-all he got was a gun)...then, i drove to his apartment to get his apartment # so i can somehow get proof they are living together...he comes out of the apartment...of course, she would not come to the door or show her face. i have not heard from h since. i came home & started bagging his things up, and cried again...i cried all day yesterday...i was so close to having what i wanted and it was snatched away from me again. i am planning to contact a lawyer monday to make sure the kids & i are took care of if he does lose his job. given his track record, i can't help but wonder if he will try to come home again.
i guess i am just glutton for punishment...i should have learned my lesson by now...sad thing is i still love him.
hi, everyone...guess i will be changing my "name"...i am no longer "waiting patiently". in fact, i am no longer waiting at all. after finding out my h has been living w/ another woman for months & lying about it and then having him go back to her after supposedly trying to come home...i have decided it is time to just let him go. there is really nothing left to hold onto. he has hurt me in so many ways and for so long that i no longer have the energy nor the desire to even try any more. i have had a chance to see what life has to offer me and i have found that i can get along w/out him. as i said once before....he is no longer a need....he WAS a want and now he is no longer that. it's funny how distorted love can become when one is emotionally abused by a spouse for many, many years. and, looking back i can see so clearly what others tried for so long to tell me. i deserve so much better than what he gave me and i will have it. i know letting go will be difficult in many ways; but, it is what is best for me & my children. please know i am not sad...i am so looking forward to better & brighter things.
thank you all for your support these past several months. deb
Hi! Just thought I would take a few minutes to update. I look at my "title" and think about how much things have changed for me over the past several months. When I first posted w/ this "title" I was waiting patiently to see what was going to become of my m. Now, I am trying to wait patiently for my D to become final...only a little less than 6 months to go....too bad NC is a state where you have to wait 1 year!!! And, unfortunately for me, patience is not one of my strong points.
I know there may be some of you who do not approve of my decision not to stand for my m. But, I cannot tell you how much happier my kids & I are!! Letting go of my m is something that I should have done a long, long time ago. Life is so much sweeter off the roller coaster ride! I was always a firm believer that a person/couple does everything they can to make a marriage work. Well, I still feel that way; and, I can honestly say that I DID do everything to try to work things out. Sometimes, a person just has to admit it's over and move on...that is what I did....and now I have so much to be thankful for!!!
Bill & I are very much in love!!! We were able to see each other this past weekend and, to make things even better, one of his sons and two of my three children were able to meet....what a GREAT time we all had!! We could not have asked for the kids to get along any better. We spent almost every minute laughing at them and watching them interact and learn about one another...it was truly amazing!! Bill & I have said all along that we felt we were right for one another and that we would be an awesome family...this weekend proved it!! We have truly been blessed!!
There are several of you on the board that I keep up w/, even though I do not post very often. Please know that I do think about you and I wish for you the very best!
Mrs. H., remember to hold your head high and be confident in yourself. As I have told you many times, you are a strong woman and you have come a long way. Don't EVER doubt yourself and ALWAYS trust in God!!
I couldn't be happier that you and Bill are so in love and that you are getting along so well together ! You both deserve to be happy, I wish you well !!! PS can you tell Bill I still miss his wonderfully warm posts ?! Take care !! xxxx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
Hey, Mrs. H...just finished posting on your thread. If everything goes as planned, Bill will be the one making the move...just a question of when it will be able to happen. But, I am not going anywhere...I will be "patiently waiting" for him...lol. My h would never agree to let me take the kids out of state, especially when I would never make an out-of-state move w/ him.
I am very much at peace. Just very ready to have all the legal & financial issues settled.
