cac4:

You need to create a process that makes your wife COMFORTABLE with herself. Don't focus on what is the best process, focus on what makes her comfortable. If she is happy, you will be happy. I have learned this from handling my mothers finances, the best processes are not always the best for that person. It is more about creating a system that THEY are comfortable with, not us. Keep THEM happy and life tends to be a whole lot better.