I just wanted to let you know that I've regained (what's left) of my sanity... LOL
The medication did finally knock me out, and I'm awake early and am going to just get showered and to the office since I have so much to do before leaving for Vegas tomorrow... I'm still really tired but just need to get stuff done. That will make me feel better.
Virginia, I'm anxious for your continued thoughts and posts that you mentioned. I will do some searching on the topics you suggested - maybe once I am in Vegas. Will be pretty busy until then, which is a good thing.
Am going to that dinner tonight with H and friends. This is with the friend that I told you about that seems to have a positive influence on H feeling closer to me, so I hope it's a nice night. I'm looking forward to it and am focusing on making sure I'm the fun, laid back W that both myself and H want me to be. Just another chance to muster up all my strength when I feel like my heart is in a million pieces, right?! Just another day... I'm going to work hard to make it a fun night.
So far I'm feeling calm this morning, so that is good. Last night was definitely an all-time low. It helped me to see that I need to make sure and not do anything rash when I'm having any sort of meltdowns - to just let them ride themselves out. It may be that I still feel the same (I still feel some of the same feelings that I feel last night), but I need to give things time to settle in before doing anything hasty. I know this trip to Vegas will be good for me - maybe it is part of this master journey that I am walking through now....
I will check in later but just wanted to let you know that I am back to the world of at least not sobbing uncontrollably and losing my mind... Thank you all so much for posting and giving me strength and encouragement.
When do you decide that you don't WANT to put one foot in front of the other anymore to work on your M? How do you decide when enough is enough? How do you balance that versus wanting to do all that you can to save your M, even if that means potentially having a broken heart for years of our already short lives? Ugh.....
