New Thread for 2940!!!!

[iluvme]

Whoa!! Take a breather 294. Just inhale thru your nose and slowly breathe out. Please do it for a couple of times b/c it sounds like you are having a panic attack. First, let me just say hi to you and give you a gigantic (((Hug))). It is okay. We hear you venting and you have a right to feel ballistic.

But now that you know, does it matter if you saw H drive to OW's house or saw something on the charges that is suspicious? What got me is that you already know that he spends Sun at OW house. So yes, it sucks to see him actually drive there. It sucks to know that he is getting his ENs met by OW. But don't sink to an all time low so that you ruin the rest of your wk. You saw it, got pissed, felt jipped that he's there, and you just pick your butt back up and move on. Go do something to take your mind off H now! Don't do anything that involves talking or venting about him.

I'll tell you the other nite was just devastating to me. I was sick this wkend at my folks and H emailed me to tell me to rest and not trek back to see kids if I don't feel good. I was suspicious that he would even type "Feel better." He never even asked about how I felt when I was sick in the past. So my s5 calls to tell me that H and all my kids went to dinner w/ a "new" friend meaning OW and her D9. I couldn't believe it b/c I remember H saying that he would've introduced the kids only if it was "that serious". So it was like getting hit with a 2x4 all over again b/c they are getting ready to come out in the open. We are close to our 90 day cooling period for D and if I agree then it's over.

What I did was call friends up and specifically NOT talk about H or anything about the divorce. If they ask, skirt the topic and refocus on other things. I was surprised that it felt better not to brew about it. I'm glad that I was able to give my friends an ear break and reciprocate by listening to them.

I know how sad and angry you feel. I am right there with you honey. I have been tiptoeing around H every wkend to avoid conflict and putting on a happy happy face. It is tiring! But in the end, I feel better b/c I am not going to bed angry and I don't feel that rage that makes me defunct. You know you backslide. Get over it so you can function. Make some plans with a friends or family but do an activity so you are not wallowing over a cup of coffee.

Instead, make yourself think of some positive goals and what you want to do with your life. There are some real motivated PMA'ers on this BB. I decided to make plans with a GF to take some salsa lessons. So as we were discussing it, it just gave me something fun to look forward to. You need that. You deserve it. Don't beat yourself up if you are not the TOP DB of the year. Just focus on making positive changes for yourself. The secret is how do you DB and keep yourself detached from getting hurt over and over again? Experts here, please advise! I've just been taking it one step at a time.

Btw, I think you've reached your Xanax limit tonite.