Today was Ok. I picked my son up after school, he had a piano lesson. I was feeling pretty beat when he had his lesson. I passed out in a chair in the hallway of the church where my son gets his lessons. I need to get better sleep.
After that it was off to the YMCA, we had a good time and ran into a few people I had not seen for a while. It’s seems to be getting easier to take my mind off my sitch. I hardly thought about it at all when we were at the Y.
After that I took my boy home. My W was sleeping. She woke up a little while after we got home. When she did wake up and come down it was the good wife. She was pleasant. We went outside and sat down and talked about our days. It surprised me that the wife was in a good mood after describing a meeting she was at today. Anyhow I helped my son with his school work and heated up some leftovers for dinner. The wife was pleasant and engaging the whole time. But it was just one day. I’m sure she will be nuts soon enough. I took out the trash and then came in and said goodnight to my son and left.
Hi Mark Glad you had a good day, enjoy that, as you say might not be like that tomorrow. I moved over to MLC, I think it is a better fit for me. W called twice today, feeling me out for something or some reason as best i can tell. Who knows? 4
I’m starting to think my wife’s spewing last week was most likely alcohol induced. At worst since then she was prickly the day we did bills. Other than that she has acted for the most part like it did not happen. My other clue is she is back into the red wine, her drink of choice. And she has had some every evening I have been there.
I had an appointment with my psychologist today. We talked about recent events, no real revelations or insights coming back from her. With my insurance it only costs me $25 a pop to see her; it seems to be worth that so I guess I’ll keep seeing her.
The weather stunk this afternoon, so my plans to take my son to the park this afternoon were sunk. Instead we went to Lowes and Walmart. It’s probably best that it’s not all fun. My W called and asked that I pick up some bread for her, so I did. Then we went to the house.
I sat down to look and see what homework my son had and my wife came down and sat down. She wanted to make small talk, but I was not real talkative so I told her I wanted to sit down and relax. And then she went back upstairs. I did not see then until after dinner and she came down when I was cleaning up. She helped with the dishes. She commented that the silence was deafening. I told her I was tired. She then sat down in the kitchen when I was fixing a fruit salad for tomorrow. I tried to make small talk, but it was forced. I gave my son a hug and left.
So that’s where I’m at, no real changes this week. I think the W has an appointment tomorrow with her therapist, maybe she’ll have a breakthrough,, ha ha ha.
Sorry for no updates recently but things have changed, for the better. On Friday the 23rd I went over the house after really nothing happening except me being more detached from my wife. To make a long story short, after an evening of talking my wife essentially did a 180. Why she did it, I’m not 100% sure, but I am sure using some of the techniques from here have helped and most importantly patience, and for the most part not having lost my temper during all of this.
She said she wanted me to move back home immediately, that we have to make our marriage work, she has been incredibly lonely, and many other positive things including, “I Love You”. She has gotten through her anger and wants things to work out. And we (at her request) have been intimate several times. And it has been great; she commented that we should separate for 3 months more often just for the sex.
So now I’m back home with my wife and family. We both want to avoid pitfalls in the future, I don’t feel any tentativeness on her part, she feels like she is back. And each day that goes by I feel the distance that was between us closing.
Thanks again for all your support. I will check in when I have more time.
Mark, just a shout out to you from a PhillyGirlz. I have been reading your thread and can't believe the wife 180 thing. Great great great! Gosh, the breakthrough in her emotions is such an important part of intimacy. Otherwise, we can detach just like that. Take it slow. Don't neglect and just take everything in perspective. It's hard work from here but so worth it for yoiu. Kepp us posted!
Me: 36 WAH: 35 S1: 5, S2: 3, D: 2 Married 13 yrs Bomb dropped Nov. '06 H filed D papers Feb. 1, '07 H nows says OW is GF since April '07
Mark....good news!...please check back and let us know how things are progressing....as you know these things can teeter-totter for a while too....I hope that isn't the case but just be aware...
I have also decided that once you have your marriage back you DON'T stop DB'ing...it is something that I will keep on doing in my marriage because it helps keep me on my toes and centered...I don't ever want to feel helpless again!
This is great news, I am very happy for you and your wife! Now from all that I have read you two have some real serious work ahead of you. I'm going to suggest you get a copy of this book, Getting Back Together (link to it on Amazon.com) because it outlines reconciliation very nicely, talks about the pitfalls and gives some great exercises and questions for reflection. One thing it points out is the pitfalls of the rush to get back together can be more dangerous than anyone expects. So take it slow and be careful.
Still this is great, great news!
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
I have been reading your thread and can't believe the wife 180 thing. Great great great! Gosh, the breakthrough in her emotions is such an important part of intimacy. Otherwise, we can detach just like that. Take it slow. Don't neglect and just take everything in perspective. It's hard work from here but so worth it for yoiu. Kepp us posted!