OK, am starting a new thread, just for my records really, feel free to comment but it's not expected.
Synopsis and links: 1st bomb - Sept 2005 - ILYBINILWY, 2 month separation 2nd bomb - March 2006 - ILYBINILWY, can't stay married to you, my feelings have gone. Stayed in the house, sep bedrooms for about 3 months, no cuddles for a further 3 months.
H finally recomitted in Oct/Nov 2006, but by Spet I was sinking into depression. Had C sessions to get through my low self esteem. All OK by Xmas.
The first few months of this year have been a continued upswing. I have made a few mistakes but I know how to put these right. My H and I now have the kind of R where we both realise that if something is wrong/not OK then we can work TOGETHER to find a solution we BOTH like. As H said the other night, "there usually is an answer, it's just a matter of finding it". Music to my ears.
What got me here? Patience, a commitment to stick with it even when times were tough, realising that it's not all about me, that there were many things H was going through (now pretty sure it was a mini MLC) that I really had no control over.
I've learned to depend on myself for my happiness, that I can't fix everything, and that it's very important to keep assuring H that if I'm in a mood it's not because of him, and if it is I will tell him. Clear communication wins for me.
I've learned that my way isnt' always the right way. That I should consider others, they might not always agree with me and if they don't it's not a personal insult.
I've learned that giving is important, and that what you give out will come back to you. So I try to always give out good things
Finally, my H is now a want in my life. I don't need him. I won't crumble without him. I want him in my life and this is more flattering for him than me needing him!!
So - just wanted to keep posting, I've had my fair few wobbly days and I still want the security blanket fo this site. I know my M is strong but the bomb hit me by surprise - I never want to be caught napping like that again!!!
Hope all are well and remember that by coming here you are making a stand that many, many others don't.
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
