Its amazing... I am starting to live...

[Delil@h]

I am trying to calm myself down. I feel like I have swallowed 100 butterflies. I have done many things today none of them very productive for any one but me~
I took a bath.
I put on makeup.
I played dress up.
I have been watching the style network.
I have been snacking on dry crackers cause ... I ate tomato soup and a bagel earlier and I feel like I am going to get sick... EEEWWWW. I normally am not this " HIGH MANTAINNANCE"
but today it feels good to just do nothing but spoil me......
(((I do have some paperwork to do for our Business but I will do it later... I deserve to still be in my Pajamas at 2 pm once a year! )
My room looks immaculate and it is ready for focusing on "US"
When my H left 2 months ago it was a lot too lived in! So yesterday I put the finishing touches on it.... I finished organizing it. This partly distracted me too,, I know it being organized frees my mind up even more.
My h called this morning and he said he would be home soon.
I am nervous but I think I can do this..... I am soo excited to see him.
I am looking forward to seeing him and I hope to embrace this time together and not forget how much I missed him when he arrives and the luxury of sleeping next to him gets familiar again. I want to keep it new for awhile and make him feel really wanted.. and this is going to be the real test for me not to get lazy/comfortable and keep doing something to keep him feeling loved.
Lots to think about and lots to do.... I think I will take a nap now... I feel overwhelmed... But blessed, really truly blessed.
GOD bless..

[Cissy]

I know, i used to take for granted him sleeping next to me. It is a nice feeling to have that back. I'm sure you must be pacing! i would be. Keep us posted. Let us know how you are doing.
Take Care,
Cissy

[COG]

Ali,

Thanks for the post over on my thread.

Will he take me and love me and hold me and cover me and protect me forever and hold me above all others???Will he love me back and allow me to feel loved and safe in his arms?

I hope and pray that he does. Maybe you should also let him know how important it is that he do those things for you. He should automatically know, but if he's like most of us guys, he's clueless. No begging or wimpyness mind you, but mature and supportive.

I'm thinking you are in the thick of it right now (no pun intended). You are an awesome woman and I'm really proud of you.

I'm praying that the two of you can enjoy ALL of the blessings that God has in store for you.

Love,

COG

[Aud31]

Good luck Ali--I hope his homecoming brings all the things you hope for!

[Delil@h]

Thanks Aud and you too COG and everyone else..
your thoughts are with me ,, and it gives me so MUCH strength. Thank you so much for your kindness everyone.
He is still not here... he is on his way.... Sheesh I feel like this is never going to happen. But he will be here soon enough and I am going to eat him up like a piece of Hersheys Chocolate.. well try to.... anyway... Wish me luck ~
(My favorite candy bar BTW~ YUMMY....)

Thanks you all for your support... I could not have done this alone!
God bless...

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Our spouses coming home is what we all hope for. Always remember what it felt like when he left as we do tend to forget as time goes by.

I know the feelings that are going through you; they are more amazing that the day you married. I know, because I was there 3.5 years ago but my sitch turned for the worse 2 years after his return. Hang onto everything you have learned from everyone here.

Now that you know his LL, be sure to fulfill it. When you do right by him, he will do right by you.

I am so very happy for you and wish you all the best.
ISLH
Thread #7

[Delil@h]

Thanks so much ISLH.. your kindness means so much to me. I smiled when I read your post and yes I try to keep it present what has transpired so as not to ever go back to that very dark place again.... So thank you very much ~

God bless...
Ali

[Delil@h]

Well my H is home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.... he got here last nite and I could not stop smiling.
And BTW he does taste better than my Favorite Hersheys Candy bar~ ( get your minds out of the gutter you all )
I have hugged him and kissed him a lot~ I am actually enjoying kissing him a lot and he is too. I am spoiling him. And he is actually reciprocating.
He is being so sweet~

He lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist

(when we had a minute alone... he brought a friend along, From Mexico to visit for 6 months, My MOM was over and our 4 kids and my brother and his son were over ....FULL HOUSE )

and carried me and spinned around and hugged and kissed me .... That was THE BEST!!!!!!! THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have so far been able to be me and not lock up like I have in the past,,,, he will only be here for a few days and then he has to leave out of state to work...

he is already talking about next time he goes to Mexico... the whole family will be going! (OUR D9 asked him when we will be going to Mexico ) Which to me says ..
I AM COMFORTABLE AND I FEEL SAFE WITH YOU AND I LOVE YOU .



I am very pleased.. it was VERY, VERY, hard to let him go and I missed him terribly. But I do know this was a blessing.I know I was scared b/c of the other Woman sitch and this time he was going by himself etc etc... But I did it and he did it and he fell in love with me more and missed me soo much too.

He has not said I love you to me but I have come to accept that he has always says to me do not tell me you love me show me! He is showing me he loves me~

.... so when he does say ILY I am walking on a cloud for weeks and it feels so good but this is ok for now.. I dunno if he will ever go back to saying it daily like he used to but he is showing me now more than ever that he loves me... Ya think? I do~

He also bought me a bracelet. He knows I love them.
He bought himself one just the same~
It has Saints and the Holy family on it it is just beautiful..



.....but this one so special cause he has one too and it seems he bought it to protect us,, our culture you know. As silly as it seems it is to me like our wedding rings~ Symbolism for me anyway..

Which BTW he has not put back on he does not wear his nor do I normally but I did start to wear it again while he was gone. When we were separated and we had a R talk he said he would never wear it again if we were ever to get back together and so that day I took mine off too. he still carries his in his wallet.

All in all I feel blessed and I hope to keep making this better.
He still unfortunately has the dreaded Tattoo,, hopefully one day he will cover it.
...but he will have to do it on his own.
I DO KNOW~!
I will mention it~!
He needs to also do this one on his own,, he has grown more and he will one day ( I hope ) realize the Tattoo has to go . So for now ( Thanks COG ) when I saw it I was ok... it is just ink . I want to get out the SHARPIE and cover it . But really for now it is ok. I will not let her or his bought with Temporary Insanity ruin these few days we have together. You know I read somewhere that it takes a Month for every year of M to repair a M and we are now on month 7 of reconciliation so I hope it is all uphill from here but it is not written in stone~

So I must~
keep positive~
keep smiling~
keep hugging~
keep kissing~
keep feeding his EGO~ ( complete 180 for me )
keep loving him the way I alone know how too~
keep snuggling him~
keep saying how I feel not keep it on my head~

Like ILY, I missed you so, You are the best, etc. etc. ( another 180 for me)

keep working on my health too~ (he has noticed and complimented me on my hard work!~)
keep touching him whenever I feel like it~ ( another 180 I always used to think I would just be bugging him)
keep ~.......... the list is endless!

It is sooooooooooooooo true when they tell you keep working on you it works wonders....




Thank you all for your blessings. I feel so happy,, I will keep working at this until it just feels like me. One day it will come even more natural to me. This is good ,no this is DIVINE! My Hard work is paying off and leaving my Ego out of this as much as I can has helped enormously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God bless...

[runningoutoftime]

Wow!!! See, a little separation can be a really nice thing. It helps us appreciate what we have. And I imagine your husband is really enjoying his homecoming!!! As far as any woman he may have even glanced at, you're erasing all memories of anyone else. Keep up that snuggling!!!!

[I_Still_Love_Him]

You go Girl!

Realize that this is NOT a dream, it is REAL. Make every day from now on like the day he returned home.

Couldn't be happier for you, your H and your family.

Keep us posted.

Hugs,
ISLH