You have been doing this a little longer than me from your register date. You can probably quote the MLC resources as well as I can, OR you have forgotten on purpose (like me) alot of it as well.
The stages are just guideline remember? And in no real set order. Anger is one of them, and according to the resources it is an outward manisfestation of the anger they feel for themselves for their Confusion. (blah blah blah, trite answers for a difficult situation doesn't make it any less true or painful)
What is the next stage? Is it going to rain tomorrow or in a week? Find out when it happens as there is no set pattern.
His mother's interference concerns me.
You see what she is saying to you.
What I wonder is what is she saying to him? I wonder just how much her taking care of her son really bothers her? Some mothers will complain all the live long day about their thankless tasks but feel unfullfilled unless doing them.
I AM the first one to say that these are unanswereable questions.
Now imagine him living there with this mother, I see her nagging him all the time, hell I wouldn't want to be in that house either.
Can you get through this Ever?
Only you know.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
You have been doing this a little longer than me from your register date. You can probably quote the MLC resources as well as I can, OR you have forgotten on purpose (like me) alot of it as well.--Yup, selective memory.
The stages are just guideline remember? And in no real set order. Anger is one of them, and according to the resources it is an outward manisfestation of the anger they feel for themselves for their Confusion. (blah blah blah, trite answers for a difficult situation doesn't make it any less true or painful[-- Very true. I guess that I have tried to forget that all of this is happening to me. [/color]What is the next stage? Is it going to rain tomorrow or in a week? Find out when it happens as there is no set pattern.--I know, I know I just wish that I could figure this out.
His mother's interference concerns me.--You,me, his reasonable sisters and brothers, our priest, my kids family counselor, my mother ... yeah. We all see her as an enabler but she knows no other way to be ... That is just it, doing his laundry, not making him pay rent or utilities, letting him come and go as he chooses with no respect for her. In his distorted point of view, he is not being disrespectful because he is not skanking around in her house but it is still the same thing.You see what she is saying to you.--Tell me,maybe I am missing something.
What I wonder is what is she saying to him? I wonder just how much her taking care of her son really bothers her? Some mothers will complain all the live long day about their thankless tasks but feel unfullfilled unless doing them.--DANG , JACK !! you are 100 percent on point. Without him there, she has nothing and no one. All of the others have pulled away and stay away no less. He just can't see it or can't figure out how to get out of it. Maybe he feels trapped, he wants to leave there but not come back to me. So, when are you going to open your practice?
I AM the first one to say that these are unanswerable questions.
Now imagine him living there with this mother, I see her nagging him all the time, hell I wouldn't want to be in that house either. [color:#330033]--I am sure that she nags about things that she needs done for herself like her shopping. He does seem to be short with her and yells at her sometimes where not too long ago he would never have done that.
Can you get through this Ever? -- I am doing my darndest but I admit that I am getting emotionally worn down.
No What I meant is you hear what she is saying to you, but you do not hear what she is (actually) saying to her son. Did not mean that to sound enigmatic.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I am okay. Had a dream about H and I laughing and joking and rolling around on a sofa at a place that overlooked Central Park.it was so real and we were sooo happy. Been having a lot of dreams about Papi Chulo lately.
So I get up at the crack of dawn and login to read what is up on the bb. Why was I sitting here CRACKING up with the costumes and super powers... I want a pocketbook in a holster so that I can hit MLCers smack in the head ... Then the secret zapper for OW and OM...
I must admit that I have been unnerved but, it is what it is. Guess that I am human afterall.
Thanks for the prayers.I am certain that they got me through the night.
Take care of yourself during this time. You can not control what your H will or will not do and fretting about it can be unnerving.
This past week, my H emailed me to tell me he filed for D and I should expect the papers in the mail. Nice eh! Before this, I kept wondering if and when he might file and fretted over it and lost sleep and yet now that it is approaching, after being separated for 14 months, I realize that other than legally ending our M, the sitch remains the same; we are apart.
The difference is for me. No more analyzing, wondering, worrying. While I still will stand for my M, his filing for D is actually freeing me from the chains.
Live your life for YOU and don't let what he says and does affect who you are.
Then he should have worn a raincoat all those years ago.
Child support is his responsibility.
Don't you dare feel bad for requiring that he live up to it.
At this rate, Mama will write the checks for his sorry butt every month and he'll continue to act like he's 14 anyway.
BTW - I wouldn't talk to her if I were you. Not about anything you feel regarding her son. 10 dollars to a donut it's going right back to him and fueling the fire...
