I KNOW I'm not supposed to worry/care about what/why H is doing, but will someone please give me some insight from an outsider's perspective on the following. I know NO ONE can really know what/why he's doing these things, but will you let me know what you think?
1.) It seems like H is sometimes messing up the bed at the office to make it appear that he's slept at the office when I know he hasn't (he's wearing different clothes that I know he doesn't have at the office). So, he's either spending part of the night with her and part of the night at the office (why would he do that?), or he's trying to deliberately throw me off for some reason. He never did this before. He knew that I knew he was staying with her, so why put on an act? So he wasn't doing that before. There were only a few times that it appeared that he had slept at the office, and other than that, although he told me otherwise (that he was staying at the job site or something - yeah, right), I just assumed he was staying with OW. Any ideas why he would be possibly starting up this charade now? I HAVEN'T said word one about where he's been staying since the night we got back from the trip, so it's not like something has been said or done that would have caused this... The night we got back, he said he was going to take his suitcase from the trip with him to the office and "live out of it" for a few days. That was the only thing that was said. I asked him if he would come back home that night, and he said he'd see, and I asked him if he would start coming home sometimes, and he said yes, but he hasn't. That was the last conversation we had about this and since then, nothing has been said or done. Thoughts? He also told me this morning something about "when I was at the office last night, I couldn't print something..." He wanted me to look at his printer. Well, when I did, I saw that he had tried to print this document this morning, not last night. I was at the office pretty late last night, and he didn't show up before I left. But the bed was all messed up again, and the light was on in my office where the bed is... Again, it's like he's deliberately trying to throw me off. And I know you're probably thinking that he maybe doesn't want to hurt me and/or doesn't want to deal with my questions, but my point is that HE NEVER DID THIS BEFORE and I HAVEN'T BEEN QUESTIONING him about it at all since the night we got back - not ONE word about it. Before, it was just understood that I was not asking where he was staying, and it was what it was. Why would he start a charade now? I don't get it... Do you think that maybe he is thinking about coming home in the somewhat near future and thinks it will be easier on me if I think he hasn't been staying with her and then immediately coming back to me?
2.) What do you think about the fact that I've now basically told H what my feelings are about possibly not staying in business with him if we aren't together anymore as a couple and that he is still fairly frequently bringing up future business plans with me/us? I would say daily at least one thing is said by him about future business plans with me that is NOT provoked by me whatsoever. Since he now knows my potential feelings on this, do you think it's just "habit" that he's saying these things? Does he not know what else to do besides talk about future plans with us? He really doesn't HAVE to talk about it or make plans with me. It's HONESTLY not like I've asked him about future plans.... I was before, and I've been trying really hard to not do that on purpose. He'll say things like what I told you about how much this investment could make for "us," which could still mean us separately. He also said that we might need to move our business location to a different building, which obviously I wouldn't want to do that if we're not going to keep the business together... He talks about future properties WE'RE going to buy... He said the other night that he would have to drive me by some properties he was looking at (he hasn't offered to take me to look at properties since before November even)... Is there reason for me to put hope into these actions? Are these baby steps? Is this his way of telling me without saying it that he hopes everything is going to be all right, in time?
Again, I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO YELL AT ME for worrying/thinking about what/why he's doing these things, but I can't stop thinking about them and have been worried to ask you because I know you'll tell me not to worry about it... But will you PLEASE give me any insights you have on these issues from the outside looking in? Baby steps are important to watch for, and if you think either of these things may be baby steps, I want to find strength in that... I promise I won't get overexcited or anxious about it - I've made that mistake too many times before and it hurts too much....
