I need to clarify because I don't think I explained it well. \:\) If you saw H in person, you'd know exactly what I'm talking about.

The "stare" to which I referred is a fixed gaze on the other person who is speaking, not glassy-eyed at all. I remember H's boss, "R," being quite impressed with 3-month-old DS who looked directly at R as if he understood everything R was saying. R commented that his daughter, who was the same age, appeared to look through him.

I came to understand that if H was looking directly at me while I spoke, he was very uncomfortable. When H is talking, he tends to look away from the other person, as do I.

LOL on the 2x4! These were the times that I feared it was hopeless. I think I was just speaking a language that H did not understand. He suppresses his feelings big time. I think he often had no clue what I was talking about. When he was hospitalized for pneumonia about 10 years ago, a nurse came in to take his medical history, and she asked if he had been under any stress. He said, "no, I don't think so." I said, "WHAT!?" And I proceeded to rattle off all that was going on in his life, including a career change and the fact that my parents had been visiting for a few weeks. And he said, "oh, yeah, I guess I am under stress." Ya think?