Yesterday we had our C appt. All in all it went pretty good. My C is awesome, he understands how men can hurt a womens spirit. He wanted to speak with my exW to see if she feels if I fully understand how much I hurt her during our M. My exW will not commit to anything at this point and my C said he doesn't expect her to be able to at this time. She needs to make sure my changes are for real. We are in this for the long run, going to fast right now would kill any hope of reconciliation.
Even though we covered a lot of ground and she is still undecided, I came away with an optimistic feeling about where we are headed.
During the post bomb era, her attitude was one of re-writting history, now everything she said back then she can't remember saying and when she talks she brings up positives, not negative times.
On the way home I asked her if she wanted to come again to my C. She said she really liked this guy but doesn't want to come next time but will let me know when she wants to go again. My gut reaction is she will go again.
On the ride home we continued some more R talks and it was all good. She once again stated that if we got back together there will never be another D. Amen to that!
I can feel it in my heart she wants to be with me, she just needs a little more reassurance.
As far as me being concerned about pursuing, I came away from our talks that she likes to be pursued and treated like a princess. I never did that for her in the past, I will start doing that now. She does not construe it as pressure if I compliment her, buy her gifts and flirt with her.
I took some advice from COG's thread and decided to turn up the heat on the flirting!
I told her I was very confident that she couldn't resist my charm forever. She did say was a great catch and can be quite charming. She also said her co-worker told her yesterday that I was still so good looking, she hadn't seen me in about 3 years.
When I dropped her off I told her I would buy her and my D10 dinner if she liked, she couldn't say yes fast enough. We then hugged and kissed for a little bit.
We had a great time at dinner, took them to a new place that she was never at. I flirted with her most of the night and she just sucked it up!
It is amazing what they are like when the come out of their fog.
I am going to use some of the principles at the Marriage Builders site for now. I think she wants me to meet her emotional needs and I think once her love bank is full she will reciprocate.
