Other things that make me mad! That I worry about him making good choices and staying safe. Two years ago around this my husband went on a huge drinking binge (under the watchful "supervision" of his friends and his 57 year old friend). He ended up so drunk that he passed out in a bathroom and had to be physcially carried out of the bar, put in a car and driven to his 57 year olds friend's house, be carried into the house.
And I worry that he is doing that again. I am so worried about this b/c my XH has high blood pressure, high cholesterol, anxiety disorder and is on MULTIPLE medications to control all these things, plus mix in his use of pot and heavy drinking I just worry that something bad will happen to him.
And what makes me ever angrier is that his friends will sit by and watch this happen. He is 28 years old, he has enough medical issues without doing STUPID things.
And it makes me feel ever more responsible when he does it. Because I know he is drinking and doing this to try to forget me, and forget and escape from his life. (A life that I feel I was supposed to make better and happier.)
I know in reality it isn't my fault at all. But I still worry. I want him to be safe.
Sorry...I think this time of year just stirs up all these emotions and not having contact with him, to make sure he is okay, just makes me even more "crazy".
OH well just one more milestone coming up before I have a break for anniversaries. I will be divorced one year in June, well then in July there would be what would have been our 5th anniversary! (God that makes me sad that my marriage didn't even last 5 years!)
