Jack, Thanks for your kind reply. I know I need to let him be, but it is just really hard. I am not one who likes to focus on me. I never have been. So doing things for myself is hard.
As for what I can do for myself, as much as I would love to go run off and see my family I can't. Well I guess the better statement is that I choose not to. It just hard. While I would like to see them more I suffer from the "I have let you all down" syndrome.
I feel like I have let my family down. I know that is all in my mind, but it is just hard when you don't get the answers you want from your family, you assume (in your mind) that they think the worst of you. So in some aspect by staying home I am hiding from what i feel are my failures.
I know I am not the only one who deals with this. My friend didn't go home to see his family for 4 years after his wife left him. It is just a hard thing to face. While I know that 50% of marriages end in divorce in this country, I am the 2nd one in my family in the history of my family to get divorced. I feel ashamed that I couldn't make my marriage work (Which compounds my helpless feeling, because I don't know why it fell apart.)
I do have a going away party for a friend this weekend... so that will be nice.
I know most of this is just in my head. But it is just hard when you look for support around you and you can't find it. You can't find that person who will just sit up with you when you are sad and just let you cry. You don't have a person who will let you come over, or come over and just be with you so you won't be alone. And don't get me wrong I know it is hard to see people you care about in pain. So I understand why people don't want to be around me... but it just makes it that much harder. I just feel so isolated.
