Scary COG you are starting to sound more and more like me everyday. Think we are hanging out too much together - lol
Seriously, its hard for others to imagine a relationship with sex, however I have lived in that type of a relationship for much longer than I care to imagine. Regardless of what my H has done to me, all the hurt and pain he has caused, I still love him deeply and I know he loves me. However, when it comes to the physical side of things, it just doesn't exist. The C has told us both that to be in a good solid relationship, the intimacy has to be there (not necesarily sex - intimacy, BIG differnce) however, if you have intimacy, for the relationship to thrive, the physical aspect (sex) has to come into play. I have found that the R I have with my H, as much as we are the best of friends (really) and I adore him (and I am confident the feeling is mutual on his part) the strain of the R increases as each year goes by with the physical. Eventually there will be no foundation to repair the damage that has been done, it will have all crumbled.
I am not perfect by any stretch, and I sometimes feel I am being punished also and deserve what is coming my way (the old saying, what goes around comes around) but at the same time I also believe we each have the right to be happy - I guess it all depends on what each of us considers "happy" eh?
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
