Sven-- I've been looking for your thread, but I don't think you have one anymore. Every now and then I see a post from you, but that's it. Thanks for remembering me.
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I am not doing too well. I have been making it to work, but it's hard for me to concentrate on the things I have to do. I am forcing myself to eat, but again-it's hard and I'm not eating much. Still, I'm not as bad as I was 19 months ago, when H first left. I'm crying a lot, though.
Last night, he came over to watch the kids, and I told him I thought it was time to have a Sep agreement. He agreed with such seeming delight that I was really hurt. I didn't say anything about that.
We will try mediation first, and see how it goes. Then run what we come up with by our L's, so that they can approve the final document. I haven't decided yet if I want to go the route of LS or D. I originally thought just LS, but I'm thinking more and more that I really need to cut the ties here and move ahead. I just can't seem to let go, and I know that I need to do that.
My H seems like an intractable case. I know I could be wrong, and RCR, I thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It is not healthy for me to be holding on the way I am. I truly believe that he will not come back to me. I don't think he has the courage to go through what it would take for us to make it work. Perhaps I am wrong, but I need to move on as if that is the case.
This is so much harder than I ever thought it would be. I just want to go to sleep and wake up when it's all over, when all my feelings are gone. I wish I didn't care. That's actually where I want to get to--the point that I just don't care.
I am not feeling well--I've been getting a lot of stomach aches. I'm going to go and lie down a bit before I pick up my son.
Love to all, N
Life isn't about finding yourself; it's about creating yourself My thread: Trusting God's Plan
