I feel I've had enough

[kaydeekay]

I haven't posted in a while. Things between H and I were stalled for awhile. Not even a phone call from him for a month. H has came by the house a few times and even once looked in my closet as though he were looking for something of his (which he doesn't have anything at my house anymore). Tuesday I had a dream about him which reminded me of the deep love we once had. I text H telling him I had a very sweet dream about him and it made me miss him. H texted back "sure it did."

Today I met him at my house during lunch so he could give me child support. D13 and D16 were home for spring break. H needed to use the bathroom in my room and one thing led to another and we had s*x. H commented that I felt good We give each other hugs good-bye and went back to work.

On my way to the bank he phoned me and asked if what we did would come back to haunt him. I asked him to explain. He said if he were in a serious relationship would I bring up the fact of what had happened. He was very adamant about me giving him a promise that I wouldn't. So I did. I asked him if he was seeing someone and he said no, but as the convesation went on he admitted that he was seeing someone but it was not serious. I asked him then why did we do what we did if you were afraid of OW finding out. He said he didn't know.

H went on to tell me that he has not been able to get serious with anyone because he always compares other women to me. He doesn't trust women (I think with his heart) becuase of our M. H said that we both need to move on or decide what we need to do. H said he cares about this woman but he also cares about me. He said he thinks about me when he is with OW.

H said other women are not like me. H said he had to have me in his life one way or another. H said he didn't know if it's because we have been together for so long or what it was about me. H said other women don't laugh like me, didnt' take care of him like me, or do the things that I had done for him like I can. H didn't know if this relationship would work out or not.

Now this is where I don't know if I should have said this because I feel like I letting him cake eat again. I asked him if things didn't work out did he want to work on us again. He said he would. I asked him if he would put 100% into the relationship and he said "Yes, I would give it 100%." H further said that he had some good feelings about OW and bad feelings. H wanted to see how this relationship with OW turns out and if it didn't work out he said he was done dating other women, he was tired of it. I asked how long have they've been dating, he said about 2 months but has know her for 4 months.

I wished him well in his new relationship and he said "we'll see. I need to ask her a lot of questions and if she feels I'm prying, oh well." H mentioned that one of the other women he dated called him and he told her not to call him anymore. H said he was cutting all ties (I'm assuming with all the other women he date, who knows).

I feel I made the biggest mistake in letting H know that I would like to work on our M still. I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and not getting nowhere after 2-1/2 years.

Will someone let me if I did make a mistake or is this something H needed to hear that I do want our M to work?