Forget all the discussion. The single question right now is; "What are her intentions?" All other questions are non-sequitor.
I’m not sure I see the logic in this. What would you expect her to say? Does she even know her own intentions, and if she does, how long with those last? Will they change as she sees HD change? Will defining those intentions cause her to hold to them out of ego and make it harder for her to move away from them later? Trying to get an answer to this might put her on the spot and just because she backed down this time doesn’t mean she won’t flip over into full attack mode.
The most I could reasonably believe from my W and she from me was that we wanted to stop the fighting. That was it. Anything either of us said regarding marriage, divorce, separation, sex, intimacy, a future together, was not believable to the other. Plus it all changed from week to week.
I believe it is worth stating simple intentions for the very short term, but trying to get her to say she will commit to he marriage is waaaay too scary for her and I don’t see any way she will do that. I think it better to go with the less threatening position (for her) that she has one foot out the door, is ready to D at any moment and that is what HD is going to have to work with. It will change later anyway.
