I am still on this roller coaster and trying very hard to get off. I can't seem to get past this not trusting him, thinking he is hiding stuff from me.
Well that's a pretty hard thing to do when he keeps lying to you or keeping things from you. I guess the other option is to just let go. GAL and stop keeping tabs on him. Just let yourself be vulnerable. I don't think it's the easiest thing to do, but I don't think your H is going to change after all this time. It's just probably the way he was raised. He just found it easier to survive by keeping things from people. I have no doubt that he loves you, and his A did'nt change that.
We're called to love unconditionally, not just when it's easy or when there's something in it for us. I know it's stupid, not fair, abusive, whatever, but it's simply what we're called to do.
Nobody said life was easy. Hang in there!
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
