There's something else that should not be overlooked or shortchanged. My W has incredible integrity, she's very sensitive, a fantastic mom to the kid's, a very spiritual, caring and supportive woman. She's not evil, or deceitful.
She loved me when not very many other's did, and she loved me unconditionally. For example, I used to chew tobacco. I had tobacco in my lip from sunup to sundown. Always there. For awhile I used those little copenhagen packets that you put in your lip. At night, I'd just take it out and set it on the nightstand. Four, five, ten would stack up there and she'd eventually clean them up for me. I'd just laugh about it.
I left clothes everywhere, never cleaned a thing around the house. I passed wind whenever I wanted wherever without a care, in fact I even held her under the covers one time laughing while I gassed her. I treated her like crap when the food was'nt good, or when I had a bad day. I never held her unless I wanted sex, I did'nt listen to her, and I made her feel stupid for having feelings about things. I reminded her constantly that I was better and she was flawed. I gave little back to her but a pay check.
Oh I'm no saint my friends, I've gotten just what I deserved and I've got a long ways to go before I'll have earned the priviledge and blessing of my W's undying love. I'm darned lucky and blessed to have what I have right now. Our living environment is very healthy and vibrant, especially for the kids. It won't be me that pours cold water on them, not while I have a choice.
This is a battle my friends, a spiritual calling. This struggle has taught me many things about myself, some very ugly, some very beautiful. I would not have opened my heart to these things had I not had a hot iron shoved there. Nor would I have learned and grown if I'd have quit long ago. I'll keep standing because I'm called to stand. Because there's still so much to learn about myself, and about loving my brother's and sister's.
This struggle goes far deeper than me, my needs for sex, my expectations, my selfish human desires. I'm in it for the long haul, and I'll see the blessings that I'm meant to see.
God Bless,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
