Thanks Ben and 1210. I happen to be fabulous at giving H the benefit of the doubt. Another weekend won't kill me. I'm hanging in there, and we'll see how this plays out.
I know I need to start sharing my feelings with him...I think he already knows most of them, and has been making efforts to check in often on this trip, I am sure to give me some reassurance. It's just hard to trust what he says, because he said the same exact things, same scenarios when he was lying to me.
I've given him the benefit of the doubt for-ev-er. I realize trust is going to take a long time to return. But shouldn't it require more effort on his part? Shouldn't he be busting his rear to get home or get a new job or fly me out there if he wants me to trust him? In what reality does the fact that he royally screwed up mean that I am required to do all the work?
Gah. End of rant. It's because life isn't always fair. It's because I love him. It's because it just is. And I can deal with it. After a good cry anyway.
