I asked the Social worker if I could wait until S was home, so that the two of us could clean his room... she said no, she wanted it done by Monday. I've cleaned his room, he didn't respect it, didn't keep it clean, started to drag trash into his room just days after I clean it. She was a young person, barely out of college, no experience with raising children, no experience living on a farm, no experience with trying to juggle, jobs, children and their social life, along with having a 30 minute drive no matter what direction.
As for court... I wear very simple clothes, although it would probably do me good to have my hair cut. Being very calm has been my problem, I have been feeling my emotions coming closer to the surface with this case, for it has to do directly with my children. Today I felt my frustrations turning into anger, as I wanted to explain to this social I felt she really wasn't here for MY and the children's best interest.
Xh had so many lies (again) written in his complaint, he even said I refused to allow the Sheriff into the house when he was here checking on S. It wasn't true, S and I were already outside trying to discuss or help him express what was truly bothering him.
I just feel so much pressure, like I've been beatened down, just like xh wants me to... I can see what is going on, but I just can't seem to get anyone else to see the picture. I'm becoming afraid that he will, as he has, overpower the situation once again, and I will loose my children.
It just doesn't make sense to me, how someone who has done nothing buy lie, cheat and steal, be able to come out looking like the saint, while squelching the truth, then projecting his own actions upon me. The truth lies just at the surface, and I can't seem to get anyone to listen.
Oh well, what ever will happen, is meant to be.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
