I was quietly worried about the flirting that you've been doing because it seems that even though you've technically DB'd I'm not so sure and the flirting was not only pressure but sexual pressure. All that alpha male stuff is awesome and you did a great job implementing it but she just isn't, sadly, interested or open to the possibility of being intimate with you. I commend you on trying something, reCOGnizing the cheeseless tunnel and stopping the behavior.
I still think you have a potential WAW on your hands. This is exactly how my sitch turned out. WAW-reconcile-MLC WAW-D soon. However, I don't let it cloud my judgement but your last vent post sent a familiar chill down my spine.
What you wrote about the negativity of her family, doing the math that she's 46, I don't know buddy but the change that you are waiting for is closer to a miracle than a change. You are right to believe that God performs miracles and if He thinks that is your destiny then He will grant that miracle for you.
Quote:
I love her, I adore her, I think she's beautiful,
COG, you say this often and every time that you do, not only do I pick up on it but it seems that you are convincing yourself deeper of it. They say it's all in the eye of the beholder but man, by constantly reaffirming this, I fear that you are both painting yourself into a corner and severely limiting your life options.
The reason why I decided to post to you is that you are thinking and behaving like an abuse victim. You are in an abusive situation no matter which way you want to slice it and dice it.
It is common for victims of abuse to become infatuated with their abusers and there is an interesting little experiment that you may like to ponder over.
It's called the chicken experiment. Chicken A and Chicken B. Each chicken has a paddle wheel type grain feed dispenser infront of them.
Chicken A gets a seed of grain on every paddle and when it pecks a grain, the paddle advances to present the next grain so each time the chicken pecks, it gets another seed of grain presented. Stop loading the grain on and the chicken will peck a few times, give up and then seek something else to so.
Chicken B gets a seed of grain on every 3rd paddle so that for every 3 pecks it gets rewarded with one grain of seed. Stop loading the grain and the chicken will peck and peck and peck and peck, in anticipation that a grain of seed will eventually be presented. Chicken B becomes addicted to frustration.
If you are the chicken and your W is the feeder, which chicken are you?
I will pray that you will find a way forward in this.
God Bless
Suit
"It's better to have no spouse than have a bad spouse"
