Welcome back...it seems that your trip went well. However, I'm disturbed by a couple of things...
To answer your question...no, I don't believe that he stayed in the office to sleep...you can't leave clothes that you are still wearing. That was for you to believe...
Tam...in your "mind" he ML to you...however, his actions spoke differently - turning his back, etc.,...you "felt" it as well. He had sex...with you, because you initiated it...no man will turn that down...but you want and hope to believe otherwise... This type of thinking is what distorts reality in your head from fact.
I agree with Lin 100%...you are on a short time frame to turn this around...but yet, you "dance" all around him, trying to get him to notice you...when it's in your hands to change yourself. It seems like you'll try to work on you, if he comes home, but I'm telling you he won't come home until you do...change.
Tam, forgive me, but you seem to carry on as a child...you cry until you get what you want, snoop, manipulate, asking him so many questions all the time. Now, you want to sell the business because he chooses to be with her? Tam, you have made him an unhappy man...he wants to be free of you...so he can think and breathe, without you under his foot 24/7...but you cannot do this because you feel that you are joined at the hip...My God Tam, do you allow him to use the restroom on his own? Or do you follow him there as well?
You are "SUFFOCATING HIM"...the more you want to be with him, the more you push him away...this is your marriage and you are driving it into the ground...do you get this?????????????????
It's time to grow up and be the woman that you were born to be and stop acting like a child. I'm sorry to say this, but if I was your husband, I would have already filed...you just don't understand how ugly and unattractive your behavior is to him... this is in your hands to fix and you can fix it, but you need to be an adult and see that you are the cause of him leaving... that he can't live with an overbearing, fully dependent, child. He married you as a partner for life...not an albatross around his neck.
Detach from him...let him alone...let him breathe...stop pushing to be included in everything he does or places he goes...you are annoying him to death...
You can fix this...read the whole DB book, not just certain parts like infidelity...then, you'll see the importance of the whole process in the big picture...
You need to change...no more crying, scenes, snooping, get out of this pitty party and start working on your marriage, it's been 5 months now...it's not new to you...but I've only seen just a few temporary changes...nothing permanent...it's up to you.
Yes, like Lin, I have vested more years in my marriage than you have...what other excuses can we answer for you? Did I act like you? No. Did I suck the life out of my husband? No. I gave him all the room he wanted...guess what? He came back, all on his own...
You can let go...........you don't have any other choice...if you want him back...anything else, just does not work...can you just grasp that much?
