I think Virginia gave you some excellent advice...
I hope she continues with the business...
All I can say is you are WAY TO IMPATIENT!!!...You want things now, to happen now, your way now...this isn't going to go that way...and even IF H made the decision to try with you right NOW I don't think it would be a lasting reconnection and then you will hurt 10 times worse...I know...
I had been with H since I was 15...he left me when I was 42...so I think I had a bit more then 10 years invested into this relationship...so I KNOW how it feels to have your world turned upside down...X's 2!!!!
I agree there are a lot of positives and you should be proud of them...
However, it only takes a few negatives to make the house of cards fall....and you are treading closely...you are polarizing yourself with him...he doesn't want to travel with you...you want to...he doesn't want to spend the night with you....you want him to....he wants to make more investments....you don't want to...further more you want to control how the assets are actually divided...instead of letting him decide to keep properties vs sell because of your feelings you want them all sold!!!...I think you need to realize that your H has feelings...and not everything he is doing is EASY for him...he is not making you unhappy...you are taking care of that....H wants to keep you included in what sounds like a lucrative business and all you can do is worry IF OW will benefit from "YOUR" hard work....he is keeping a door open with you and you want to close because you want a different door open...
You are still pushing him...and if you don't stop you WILL lose him and NOT TO OW!!!
You seem to know what he feels, thinks, does....and you will snoop...and you stay all consumed in all of this...he spent a vacation with you...had sex with you...and still you push...do you think OW is pushing....or pulling???...think about that
I don't really know what else to say...I do hope your therapist can help...I will keep giving what insight I can until you tell me or show me you don't want it...
I am VERY concerned for you...I know you love your H...but I wonder if it is the "idea" of him that you love more??? and now the control is gone and you can't handle that...so you resort to manipulating...even in your DB'ing...you are still focused on getting him back instead of improving YOU...because bottom line...if you get him back and you don't improve you it will only be a matter of time...you MUST IMPROVE YOU...that is all there is to it...
