I predict HD continues to run in circles with MrsHD until she is FORCED to take a different perspective.
So what do you think I’ve been saying? She puts up the massive defense to intimidate HD to prevent confrontation, even though she is being confrontational with her tactics. Raising the ante to keep steady pressure on her is a way of forcing her to take a different perspective, yet staying just clear of her confrontational tactics that she uses to avoid confrontation of her own issues, KWIM?
BTW, this also brings us back to the debate I had here long ago about the difference between boundaries and control, and whether an ultimatum, such as D is control or a boundary. I think this line is blurred for MrsHD. In fact, I know it is because she has no problems in resorting to threats and ultimatums anytime she wants. I think she really needs to understand the difference, and this could be a major battle in itself.
I think Lil’s idea of not jumping into the pit, just saying “oh” and keeping the focus on her, is in the same spirit as what I am suggesting. Except for other people, their sense of guilt and commitment will cause them to engage in one way or another. The silence puts them on the spot and they might feel compelled to respond, opening up the dialogue. They do not retreat deep into a cave.
But MrsHD likes the silence. It is safe for her. From her current position, she has everything to lose and nothing to gain by allowing relationship to move off center. That is why Nop is right in telling HD to rattle the cage one way or another. It is all meant to get to Step 6 of Nop’s outline. I am only suggesting that it is particularly import how HD rattles the cage.
