Amy, again many thanks. From what I understand of my x, many of the friends and family have had "the talk" with her. As you have stated, they slowly peel away and want nothing more to do with a MLCer, because the rewrites don't add up, the fiction is seen for what it is - pure fiction. Perhaps then comes reality - nobody is buying the story (including new "friends") and the MLCer finds themselves finally alone? Of interest, in the last few months, that topic of "pride" has made its way into conversation with former friends (they want nothing to do with her) of the x. They've brought it up, not me. They firmley believe it's a "sticking point" - MLCer cannot admit (openly) they made a mistake, rather would be miserable than to "own up". Does that strike a cord with you? I've learned of these things slowly over the last year from my room mate. She was my former x's best friend for over a decade and she brought this topic up a few weeks ago (amongst other friends)((Room mate is just that - nothing more going on between us)). Room mate has had no contact with my x in over a year and a half. Me, three years. I observed x from a few feet away the other morning, me in car stuck at traffic light, x walking in crosswalk. Being polite as I can in describing her appearance - "bag lady", only thing missing was "pushing a shopping cart" with her belongings in it. Did it get that bad? Did it "feel" that bad? It really hurt to see her that way.
GB- Wow. Big WOW. This is heartbreakingly sad. I am so sorry.
As for me being in MLC was sort of like marbles rolling around in my head and maybe even my heart. It was a dull pain, I cried alot so I justfied my behavior by being mean and using other people's niceness to me as their weakness and took advantage. I often thought that running away was the answer. If only I could get away from all of these nagging people who had made my life so miserable all of this time. CRAZY.
It did not feel "Bag Ladyish" to me but felt heavy. That is the only way to describe it. HEAVY. You are not in your right mind at all and you feel justified. I know one thing for sure. She will have to come to you when she feels that it is safe to do so. Not to give false hope but if she is looking that bad/lost ... she needs a friend. Maybe you could just reach out as a friend. Nothing heavy, just a touching base sort of thing so that she can see that she can feel safe when she is ready. Just my thoughts, wish you well.
Oh, before I forget... Not uncommon for friends and family to sort of pull back from the MLCer. I recently spoke with MIL and SIL both of whom state that H is in a place where no one can go and that he will have to find his way out. When this all started to go down his older brother went to see H everyday. His sister called often and sent emails frequently, came in at least twice from Florida. His best friend called often. No one comes near it now.
